| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:07] | Lot of money in the pot, Dave. | 戴夫 底池很大哦 |
| [00:10] | You thought you could come over here | 你觉得你能跟我这种 |
| [00:11] | and play cards with the big dog? | 高手过招 |
| [00:14] | Well, you about to get bit. | 我看你要被虐了 |
| [00:19] | Go ahead, take your best shot. | 来 看你有啥本事 |
| [00:21] | Do you have any nines? | 你手里有9吗 |
| [00:23] | Go fish. Ha, ha! | 抓牌 |
| [00:28] | Will you look at that? I hooked a nine. | 看 我拿到9了 |
| [00:32] | Booyah! | 赢了 |
| [00:35] | Uh-oh, big dog, you got smoked by a dude who says “booyah.” | 高手被菜鸟嘲讽了 |
| [00:40] | Hey, guys. Whatcha doing? | 你们干什么呢 |
| [00:41] | Oh, hey, hon. I just beat Calvin and Malcolm in Go Fish. | 亲爱的 我靠自摸就把卡尔文和马尔科姆赢了 |
| [00:44] | Booyah! | 漂亮 |
| [00:47] | Malcolm, I’m glad you’re here. | 马尔科姆 你在这太好了 |
| [00:48] | How do you feel about blind dates? | 你觉得相亲怎么样 |
| [00:51] | Oh, to be honest, Gemma, I’m not really into bl… | 说实话 杰玛 我不太感冒 |
| [00:53] | Great! | 太棒了 |
| [00:55] | Because there’s this wonderful new English teacher at school, | 学校新来的英文老师很不错 |
| [00:57] | Sofia, and I think you two have a lot in common. | 叫索菲亚 我觉得你们有很多共同点 |
| [01:01] | Oh, so she also lives at home and takes the bus to work? | 这么说她也跟父母住 坐公交上班 |
| [01:06] | Thank you, Gemma, but I don’t think so. | 谢谢 杰玛 还是算了 |
| [01:08] | My last blind date turned out to have three children. | 我上次相亲那位有三个孩子 |
| [01:10] | Well, you like kids. | 可你喜欢孩子 |
| [01:12] | Yeah, but she brought all of them to dinner. | 没错 但她跟我约会的时候全带上了 |
| [01:15] | And one of them was older than me. | 其中一个比我还大 |
| [01:18] | I promise you, you have nothing to worry about. | 放心 这次不会的 |
| [01:20] | I’m kind of known for my matchmaking skills. | 我当红娘的本事不是吹的 |
| [01:22] | I have a perfect track record. | 成了很多对 |
| [01:25] | Well… | 这个嘛 |
| [01:28] | What about the Parkers? | 那帕克家那次怎么说 |
| [01:29] | Oh, so he has a secret family in Winnipeg | 他在温尼伯秘密结婚了 |
| [01:31] | and that’s on me? | 这也怪我 |
| [01:34] | Anyway, back in Kalamazoo, | 不管怎么说 在卡拉马祖 |
| [01:35] | they called me Dr. Wedding Bells. | 他们都叫我爱神丘比特 |
| [01:38] | Hey, look, I appreciate it, Gemma, | 杰玛 我很感谢你 |
| [01:40] | but I’m not that desperate yet. | 但是我还没猴急到那种程度 |
| [01:42] | You’re not? | 还没吗 |
| [01:45] | You’re playing Go Fish with two married men. | 你跟两个结了婚的老爷们玩扑克 |
| [01:48] | And last night I caught you slow-dancing with a mop. | 昨天晚上我看到你抱着拖把跳双人舞 |
| [01:52] | He’ll take it. | 他会去的 |
| [01:54] | Okay, fine. I guess we can go for a drink. | 好吧 至少能去喝一杯 |
| [01:57] | Here you go, man. | 兄弟 给你的 |
| [01:58] | Whoa, what’s this, Pop? | 老爹 这是干什么 |
| [01:59] | Uh, just some extra cash in case she brings her kids. | 多给你点 以防她又带着孩子去 |
| [02:12] | Calvin, I just heard that Terrence Walker died. | 卡尔文 我刚听说特伦斯·沃克死了 |
| [02:15] | Can you believe that? | 你敢信吗 |
| [02:16] | Absolutely. The man was on his last leg. | 没什么奇怪的 那哥们只剩半条命了 |
| [02:19] | He lost the first one in Korea. | 朝鲜战争的时候就没了条腿 |
| [02:23] | Well, apparently, he didn’t leave a will, | 很显然 他没写遗嘱 |
| [02:25] | and now his whole family is fighting over his estate. | 他们家现在正忙着抢遗产 |
| [02:28] | What estate? | 什么遗产 |
| [02:30] | He had an ’81 Buick and a closet full of left shoes. | 他有辆81版别克和一柜子只有左脚的鞋 |
| [02:39] | I don’t know, Calvin. | 不知道 卡尔文 |
| [02:40] | We’re not as young as we used to be. | 我们也不年轻了 |
| [02:42] | Maybe we should be thinking about making our will. | 也许该想想我们的遗嘱了 |
| [02:44] | Oh, no. Baby, we’re not old enough to need a will. | 亲爱的 不至于 我们还没那么老 |
| [02:48] | I just got carded last week. | 我上周刚被要求出示身份证明 |
| [02:50] | That’s because the waiter was trying to give you a senior discount. | 那是服务员想看看你能不能享受老年折扣 |
| [02:54] | Which I did not qualify for. | 结果证明我没合格 |
| [02:58] | Calvin, God forbid you died. | 卡尔文 生死有命 |
| [03:00] | I mean, the last thing you would want is for the boys | 你也不想以后看着孩子们 |
| [03:02] | to have to fight over your stuff. | 为了争遗产而打架 |
| [03:04] | I’m dead and you’re worried about the boys? | 我死了 你关心的却是孩子们 |
| [03:09] | Wow, Tina. | 缇娜 真棒 |
| [03:20] | Hey, brother, | 哥们 |
| [03:21] | I am meeting a blind date for a drink. | 我来这相亲就为了喝一杯 |
| [03:23] | and I really don’t want to be here. | 我真不想来 |
| [03:25] | So can you call my cell in, like, half an hour? | 所以半小时以后你能打给我吗 |
| [03:27] | Say no more. Grandma’s in the hospital or fire at home? | 懂了 奶奶进医院还是家里着火了 |
| [03:31] | Let’s not take chances. | 我们得严谨一些 |
| [03:33] | Grandma’s in the hospital because of the fire at home. | 奶奶因为家里着火了才进的医院 |
| [03:37] | Here’s my number. | 这是我的电话号码 |
| [03:39] | Hi. Malcolm? | 马尔科姆 |
| [03:41] | Oh, damn. | 天呐 |
| [03:43] | Sofia? | 索菲亚 |
| [03:47] | Let me guess. You were about to have a sick aunt? | 让我猜猜 你本打算让你姨妈生病来着 |
| [03:50] | What? | 什么 |
| [03:53] | How did you know? | 你怎么知道的 |
| [03:55] | Because I’m getting a call from my sick aunt. | 因为我跟你玩的把戏一样 |
| [04:00] | Never mind, he’s cute. | 没事了 小伙很不错 |
| [04:05] | Hey, wait. | 等一下 |
| [04:07] | We only need a table for the two of us, right? | 我们只需要一个二人桌对吗 |
| [04:09] | Yeah. Why? | 当然 怎么了 |
| [04:11] | I’m just checking. | 就问问 |
| [04:16] | Hey, babe. Whatcha doing? | 亲爱的 你在干什么 |
| [04:20] | Just getting some fresh air. | 出来透透气 |
| [04:21] | It’s a beautiful night. | 多美的夜晚 |
| [04:23] | The stars are out. | 星星都出来了 |
| [04:24] | You’re waiting for Malcolm. | 你是在等马尔科姆吧 |
| [04:25] | Where the hell is he?! | 他人呢 |
| [04:28] | Well, if they’re not home yet, | 他们要是现在还没回来的话 |
| [04:29] | the date must have gone well, right? | 那约会肯定很顺利 对不对 |
| [04:31] | Not just well. Sofia texted me and said it went great. | 不只是顺利 索菲亚发信息说约会超级棒 |
| [04:34] | Looks like Dr. Wedding Bells hasn’t lost a patient yet. | 看来爱神丘比特依旧箭无虚发 |
| [04:39] | Well… | 这个嘛 |
| [04:41] | I don’t know if the Cahills would agree. | 我不知道卡希尔斯会不会这样想 |
| [04:43] | Again, not my fault. | 再说一次 不是我的问题 |
| [04:45] | If he didn’t know he was gay, how was I supposed to? | 他都不知道自己喜欢男人 我怎么会知道 |
| [04:49] | – Hey, guys. – Enough with the chitchat. | -大家好 -少扯别的 |
| [04:50] | Tell me everything. | 说正事 |
| [04:52] | Look, there’s not much to tell. | 没什么好说的 |
| [04:54] | It was okay. | 还行吧 |
| [04:56] | Wha… | 什么 |
| [04:57] | Just okay? | 只是还行吗 |
| [04:59] | Time of death 9:32. | 死亡时间 九点三十二分 |
| [05:03] | Wha… But Sofia said it went great. What happened? | 但是索菲亚说约会非常棒 什么情况 |
| [05:06] | All right, here’s the truth. | 其实是这样的 |
| [05:08] | She has got this annoying laugh. | 她笑起来很招人讨厌 |
| [05:09] | A-And I mean, it’s really annoying. | 非常讨厌 |
| [05:12] | How bad is it? | 有多讨厌 |
| [05:13] | People around us were checking their phones | 周围的人都在看手机 |
| [05:15] | to see if there was a Amber Alert. | 以为是安珀警报响了[人口失踪警报] |
| [05:18] | Look, I’m sorry, Gemma, | 抱歉 杰玛 |
| [05:20] | but that’s a deal breaker for me, all right? | 这一点我接受不了 就这样吧 |
| [05:22] | Thank you for trying, though. | 但还是得感谢你撮合我们 |
| [05:25] | I can’t believe it. | 难以置信 |
| [05:26] | I-It’s crazy for something like that to be a deal breaker. | 因为这种事情黄了 真是不可理喻 |
| [05:30] | Catching your husband in a Jacuzzi with the mailman I get. | 抓到你老公和邮递员共浴还差不多 |
| [05:35] | But this? No. | 但是这个也太扯了 |
| [05:38] | Well, look, Gemma, everyone has their deal breakers. | 杰玛 每个人都有接受不了的事 |
| [05:41] | You know, when I was single, I could never date | 我单身的时候就不愿意 |
| [05:43] | someone who littered | 和乱丢垃圾的 |
| [05:44] | or had the same haircut as my mom. | 发型和我妈一样的 |
| [05:49] | Or lived east of highway 43. | 住在43号公路东边的人约会 |
| [05:52] | It is bumpkin central over there. | 那里就是土包子大本营 |
| [05:55] | Dave, I lived east of highway 43. | 戴夫 我就住在43号公路东边 |
| [05:58] | Oh, I know. | 我知道 |
| [06:02] | But once I got to know you better, | 但是我了解你之后 |
| [06:04] | I discovered so many of your deal makers | 我发现你有很多优点 |
| [06:06] | that I forgot about my one deal breaker. | 然后就忘了我不喜欢的那一点了 |
| [06:11] | Plus, you were the only girl I met from over there | 而且 住在那边的女孩中 |
| [06:13] | who wasn’t in a fight club. | 只有你不是搏击俱乐部的 |
| [06:17] | Maybe if I can get Malcolm to see | 也许我可以让马尔科姆看到 |
| [06:19] | more of Sofia’s good qualities, | 索菲亚的其他优点 |
| [06:20] | he’ll get over his deal breaker, just like you did. | 他就不会在意那一个缺点了 就像你一样 |
| [06:23] | I guess. | 可能吧 |
| [06:24] | How long did it take you? Like, two or three dates? | 你当时花了多久 见面两次还是三次之后 |
| [06:29] | Yeah, let’s go with that. | 差不多吧 |
| [06:34] | Oh, hey, Dad. | 老爸 |
| [06:37] | Oh, y’all watching YouTube videos again? | 你们又在看网上看视频吗 |
| [06:39] | Play the one where the monkey steals the baby’s ice cream. | 快看猴子偷小孩子的雪糕那个 |
| [06:43] | No, Calvin, I asked Marty to come over | 不是 卡尔文 我叫马蒂过来 |
| [06:45] | and help us do our wills. | 帮我们立遗嘱 |
| [06:47] | Yeah, I found this website that does almost all the work for you. | 我发现这个网站基本可以帮你全部搞定 |
| [06:49] | So basically, all you have to do is die. | 所以你只要死就可以了 |
| [06:52] | Boy, I survived black Michael Jackson, | 孩子 迈克尔·杰克逊黑的时候我活着 |
| [06:55] | white Michael Jackson | 迈克尔·杰克逊白的时候我活着 |
| [06:56] | and “Damn, I ain’t know he did all that” Michael Jackson. | 迈克尔·杰克逊绯闻满天飞的时候 我还活着 |
| [07:00] | I ain’t going nowhere. | 我一时半会是不会死的 |
| [07:01] | Okay, fine. I’ll do it without you. | 好吧 那我就自己来 |
| [07:04] | So leave his truck with Dave. | 把他的卡车留给戴夫 |
| [07:06] | Over my dead body. | 除非我死了 |
| [07:09] | – Exactly. – Exactly. | -正合你意 -正合你意 |
| [07:11] | Fine. | 好吧 |
| [07:12] | Come on. Let’s do this, then. | 那我们一起来 |
| [07:14] | Let’s-let’s do it. | 一起来 |
| [07:15] | Thank you, baby. And I promise you, when we’re done, | 谢谢你 宝贝 我保证 这个搞完了 |
| [07:17] | you can watch your monkey video. | 你就可以看猴子的视频了 |
| [07:19] | How does that sound? | 你觉得怎么样 |
| [07:21] | Good. | 好吧 |
| [07:24] | Okay, let’s get started. | 开始吧 |
| [07:26] | Uh, “Names, ages…” | 名字 年龄 |
| [07:28] | Oh, do you want to be buried or cremated? | 你们想土葬还是火化 |
| [07:30] | – Buried. – Buried. | -土葬 -土葬 |
| [07:31] | Okay, great. | 好 不错 |
| [07:32] | Uh, moving on to the estate. | 接下来是房产 |
| [07:33] | “In the event that one of you gets remarried…” | 在其中一人再婚的情况下 |
| [07:37] | Next question, man. | 下个问题 伙计 |
| [07:39] | Hold on. | 等下 |
| [07:40] | Why is that funny? | 这什么好笑的 |
| [07:42] | Cause I would never be with another woman after you. | 你走了 我不会再找别的女人 |
| [07:47] | And you definitely couldn’t be with another man. | 而且你肯定也不会找其他的男人 |
| [07:52] | So, Calvin, if you up and die tomorrow, | 卡尔文 你要是明天去世了 |
| [07:54] | you would expect me to be single for the rest of my life? | 你希望我接下来一辈子都单身吗 |
| [07:58] | Uh, yeah. | 是啊 |
| [08:00] | Winnie Mandela did it. | 温妮·马迪基泽拉就是[曼德拉的妻子] |
| [08:02] | Coretta Scott King did it. | 科丽塔·斯科特·金也是[马丁路德·金的妻子] |
| [08:05] | Tina Butler can do it, too. | 缇娜·巴特勒也可以做到 |
| [08:09] | Mandela, Dr. King. | 曼德拉 金博士 |
| [08:10] | Why don’t you just compare yourself to Jesus? | 你干脆把你自己和耶稣比好了 |
| [08:13] | Well, fine. When I die, | 好吧 我死以后 |
| [08:14] | you got three days, and I’m coming back. | 再过三天就复活了 |
| [08:19] | Stop playing with me, Tina. | 别闹了 缇娜 |
| [08:20] | I forbid you to remarry after I die. | 我不允许你在我死后改嫁 |
| [08:24] | Well, if you keep it up, you won’t have to. | 你再废话 咱俩直接离婚 |
| [08:29] | Hey, who wants to watch a monkey video? | 谁想看猴子的视频 |
| [08:34] | So, you see, Grover, | 你看 葛罗弗 |
| [08:35] | even though Charlotte dies in the end, | 虽然夏洛特最后去世了 |
| [08:37] | the sacrifices she made for Wilbur the pig | 她为小猪威尔伯做出的牺牲 |
| [08:40] | show us what true friendship really is. | 教会了我们真正的友谊 |
| [08:42] | All it did was make me want bacon. | 听完这个故事我只想吃培根 |
| [08:46] | Remind me to never let you read Old Yeller. | 记得提醒我别让你看《老黄狗》 |
| [08:52] | Hey, Malcolm. | 马尔科姆 |
| [08:53] | Oh, hey, Dave. Uh, Gemma asked me to come over | 戴夫 杰玛让我过来 |
| [08:55] | and help Grover out with his book report. | 帮葛罗弗写读书报告 |
| [08:58] | That’s usually my job. | 平时都是我帮他的 |
| [08:59] | It was… | 本来是 |
| [09:01] | until I got a C on the last one. | 直到上次作业得了C |
| [09:06] | I don’t care what Ms. Sweeney says. | 我不在乎斯威尼老师怎么说 |
| [09:08] | Charlie did nothing to deserve that chocolate factory. | 查理的付出根本配不上巧克力工厂 |
| [09:18] | Hi, I’m… | 你好 我是… |
| [09:19] | – Sofia? – Sofia? | -索菲亚 -索菲亚 |
| [09:21] | Sofia! | 索菲亚 |
| [09:30] | So, Sofia, what languages do you speak again? | 索菲亚 你会说哪国语言来着 |
| [09:33] | Well, English, Spanish, French… | 英语 西班牙语 法语 |
| [09:36] | Ooh, French. As in fries, toast and kissing. | 法语 像法式薯条 烤面包和深吻一样 |
| [09:41] | Gemma, you’re embarrassing me. | 杰玛 你说得我不好意思了 |
| [09:44] | Sorry. | 抱歉 |
| [09:45] | She also graduated cum laude from Berkeley. | 她还以优异成绩毕业于伯克利 |
| [09:49] | Yeah, she mentioned that at the restaurant. | 我们吃饭的时候她提到过 |
| [09:52] | You know who else went to Berkeley? | 你知道还有谁上过伯克利吗 |
| [09:55] | Frank M. Business. | 弗兰克·M·闲事 |
| [09:58] | The “M” stands for Mindyourown. | M是”别多管”的缩写 |
| [10:04] | Gemma, uh, where’s the bathroom? | 杰玛 卫生间在哪 |
| [10:05] | Oh, uh, through the door next to the stairs. | 楼梯旁边那扇门就是 |
| [10:11] | Really? I can’t believe y’all did this. | 不是吧 你们怎么能这样 |
| [10:14] | Hey, don’t look at me. I had nothing to do with this. | 别看我 跟我没关系 |
| [10:16] | I’ve been upstairs brushing up on Charlotte’s Web. | 我一直在楼上温习《夏洛特的网》 |
| [10:20] | Like a sucker. | 自作多情 |
| [10:24] | It’s true. This is all on me. | 没错 是我的主意 |
| [10:25] | I just wanted you to give Sofia another shot. | 我只希望你能再考虑一下索菲亚 |
| [10:28] | Once you spend some more time with her, | 只要多和她相处一段时间 |
| [10:30] | you’ll forget all about her silly little laugh. | 就会忘记她的笑声 |
| [10:32] | Gemma, this is not cool. I told you | 杰玛 这样不好 我说过 |
| [10:33] | I’m not interested in her or the fact that she speaks French. | 我对她或者她会说什么语言都没兴趣 |
| [10:36] | Bon-Bonjour! | 你好[法语] |
| [10:42] | Bonjour. | 你好 |
| [10:52] | I’d take my mom’s haircut over that any day. | 相比之下 我妈的发型根本不算什么 |
| [10:58] | So, who gets the house– me or Malcolm? | 房子给谁 我还是马尔科姆 |
| [11:00] | Whichever one of you promises | 你们谁保证不让继父搬进来 |
| [11:02] | not to let your new stepdaddy move in. | 我就把房子给谁 |
| [11:06] | Oh, come on, Calvin. | 拜托 卡尔文 |
| [11:08] | You know, look, if I die tomorrow, | 如果我明天死了 |
| [11:10] | I would want you to do what you have to to be happy. | 我希望你能做让自己幸福的事 |
| [11:13] | Oh, really? | 是吗 |
| [11:14] | So you’d be okay if I married Monique Baker? | 如果我和莫妮可·贝克结婚 你能接受吗 |
| [11:18] | That skank ho?! | 那个贱人 |
| [11:21] | Don’t you talk about Marty’s stepmother like that. | 不许这么说马蒂的继母 |
| [11:25] | Wait. Wait, who is Monique Baker? | 等等 谁是莫妮可·贝克 |
| [11:27] | She’s a skank ho, that’s who! | 她就是个贱人 |
| [11:30] | She used to sing in the choir | 她曾经和你妈 |
| [11:32] | with your mother, and I ain’t gonna lie– | 在同一个合唱团 说实话 |
| [11:34] | she was pretty easy on the eyes. | 她长得还不错 |
| [11:38] | What? | 怎么了 |
| [11:39] | You wouldn’t want me to be with somebody ugly now, would you? | 你不会想让我娶一个丑八怪吧 |
| [11:42] | I mean, that would be disrespecting your legacy. | 那是不尊重你的遗志 |
| [11:46] | So you been cheating on me in your mind all these years? | 原来你这些年一直都在精神出轨 |
| [11:50] | Come on, Tina. You know my mind. | 行了 缇娜 你了解我 |
| [11:52] | You know I don’t think. | 我从不动脑子 |
| [11:55] | Well, you thought her name up pretty quick. | 你想起她的名字倒没花多少时间 |
| [11:58] | Yeah, it was pretty quick, Dad. | 确实没花多少时间 老爸 |
| [12:00] | You just lost the house. | 房子归你哥了 |
| [12:01] | Damn it. | 该死 |
| [12:03] | And I’m not understanding why you’re so upset. | 我不明白你为什么生气 |
| [12:05] | ‘Cause I was ready to mourn for the rest of my life, | 我本来准备用余生为你哀悼 |
| [12:08] | but no… | 但你不是 |
| [12:11] | you want us to be happy. | 你想让我们幸福 |
| [12:15] | Okay, fine. Maybe you’re right. | 好 也许你说得对 |
| [12:17] | Maybe I shouldn’t get remarried when you’re gone. | 也许我不该在你死后再婚 |
| [12:20] | See? Now, that’s what I’m talking about. | 你看 我说的对吧 |
| [12:22] | I mean, why tie myself down to one man | 为什么要和一个男人厮守 |
| [12:24] | when I can date a whole bunch of ’em? | 我完全可以多谈几个 |
| [12:27] | W-What’d you just say? | 你说什么 |
| [12:28] | Uh, maybe now’s a good time for me to get a snack. | 也许我该去找点东西吃了 |
| [12:30] | Or, you know, leave forever. | 或者永远离开 |
| [12:34] | You heard me. | 你没听错 |
| [12:36] | Maybe I should play the field, | 我应该焕发第二春 |
| [12:37] | you know, even go back to Jamaica, | 甚至回到牙买加 |
| [12:39] | get my groove back. | 找回我的最佳状态 |
| [12:43] | Or maybe I should date a younger guy. | 找个年轻小伙 |
| [12:45] | I hear Monique’s son is really good-looking. | 我听说莫妮可的儿子长得很帅 |
| [12:48] | You stay away from my future wife’s son. | 你离我未来老婆的儿子远点 |
| [12:52] | Wait, uh, time-out. | 等等 暂停一下 |
| [12:54] | You do realize that means you would be dating my stepbrother? | 你知道这意味着你要和我的继兄交往吧 |
| [12:58] | You are so smart. | 你可真聪明 |
| [12:59] | I wonder if you get it from your late father. | 不知是不是从你已故的父亲那里遗传的 |
| [13:02] | What’s his name again? | 他叫什么来着 |
| [13:05] | You know what, that’s it. | 你太过分了 |
| [13:07] | If I die, I’m coming back as a ghost. | 要是我死了 就做鬼回来缠着你 |
| [13:09] | Let’s see you keep a boyfriend | 到时候我天天恶作剧 |
| [13:11] | when I’m poltergeisting his ass. | 你还留得住男朋友吗 |
| [13:17] | Oh, and you know what else? | 还有一点你知道吗 |
| [13:19] | Sofia was telling me about how much she loves to read. | 索菲亚跟我说过她特别喜欢看书 |
| [13:22] | Malcolm’s a big reader, too. | 马尔科姆也很喜欢看书 |
| [13:24] | What are you reading these days? | 你最近都看些什么 |
| [13:25] | Oh, all kinds of stuff. | 各种各样的 |
| [13:27] | E-mails, | 电邮 |
| [13:29] | text message… | 短信 |
| [13:32] | takeout menus. | 外卖菜单 |
| [13:37] | Guys, I think the cat from the alley is back. | 各位 我觉得巷子里那只猫回来了 |
| [13:41] | And it sounds like she’s having babies. | 听起来她要生宝宝了 |
| [13:45] | Go back upstairs and finish your book report, sweetie. | 回楼上去把读书报告写完 宝贝 |
| [13:48] | Well, I guess I should be getting home. | 我该回家了 |
| [13:50] | Well, but it’s still early. | 但现在还很早 |
| [13:52] | Yeah, well, when you’re a security guard, | 作为一名保安 |
| [13:53] | you need a lot of rest. | 我得保证充足的睡眠 |
| [13:55] | Otherwise you might fall for a sneak attack. | 否则可能会犯傻被偷袭 |
| [13:59] | Oh, okay. | 好吧 |
| [14:00] | It was nice to see you. | 很高兴见到你 |
| [14:02] | It was nice to see you, too. | 我也很高兴见到你 |
| [14:04] | Malcolm, before you leave, can I see you in the kitchen? | 马尔科姆 走前能来厨房一下吗 |
| [14:06] | I have an important… | 我有个重要的… |
| [14:08] | security guarding question. | 保安问题 |
| [14:15] | Sofia, uh… | 索菲亚 |
| [14:16] | you’re an English teacher. | 你是英语老师 |
| [14:18] | You tell me those Oompa Loompas didn’t deserve | 你说那些奥帕伦帕人配不配的上 |
| [14:21] | the chocolate factory. | 巧克力工厂 |
| [14:24] | Malcolm, don’t leave now. | 马尔科姆 别急着走 |
| [14:25] | You’re not giving her a chance. | 你都没给她机会 |
| [14:26] | That’s because I told you I’m not interested. | 因为我跟你说了 我不感兴趣 |
| [14:29] | Just because of her laugh? | 就因为她的笑声吗 |
| [14:31] | Which, by the way, I happen to think is cute. | 说起来 我觉得挺可爱的 |
| [14:41] | Okay, Grover’s right. | 好吧 葛罗弗说得对 |
| [14:42] | It’s like a catfight in her throat. | 简直就像猫在她喉咙里打架 |
| [14:47] | But… | 但是 |
| [14:48] | she’s so great in every other way. | 她在其他方面都很棒 |
| [14:50] | She’s just not for me, okay? | 她不适合我 |
| [14:53] | Fine. I guess I’m just disappointed. | 好吧 我只是有点失望 |
| [14:55] | I didn’t think you were so superficial. | 我没想到你这么肤浅 |
| [14:57] | No, look, Gemma, I’m not superficial, all right? | 不 杰玛 我不是肤浅 |
| [15:00] | It’s just… | 只是… |
| [15:03] | It’s just what? | 怎么了 |
| [15:06] | All right, you want the truth? The problem is not her laugh. | 你想听实话吗 问题不在于她的笑声 |
| [15:09] | – I actually like it. – Really? | -其实我挺喜欢的 -不是吧 |
| [15:12] | I mean, really? | 我是说 太好了 |
| [15:16] | Yes, okay? It’s got character. | 真的 很有个性 |
| [15:18] | She doesn’t hold back, and… | 她毫无保留 |
| [15:20] | I think that’s cool. | 我觉得很酷 |
| [15:22] | Okay, so then what’s the deal breaker? | 那问题到底是什么 |
| [15:24] | It’s me. | 是我 |
| [15:26] | I’m the deal breaker. | 是我的问题 |
| [15:28] | I-I got to go. | 我得走了 |
| [15:31] | Hey, it was really great to see you. | 真的很高兴见到你 |
| [15:33] | Um, good night. | 晚安 |
| [15:40] | What just happened? | 刚才发生了什么 |
| [15:42] | I don’t know. | 不知道 |
| [15:44] | It’s definitely not something to laugh about. | 不过绝对不是什么好笑的事 |
| [15:49] | Oh, yeah? Well, me and my boy toy, Winston, | 是吗 那我和我的男宠温斯顿 |
| [15:52] | we gonna lie on the beach in Jamaica | 我们要躺在牙买加的沙滩上 |
| [15:54] | and listen to reggae music all day. | 整天听雷鬼音乐 |
| [15:57] | Yeah, well, that’s all right. | 没事 我不介意 |
| [15:59] | Because I’m gonna be on the couch | 因为我要瘫在沙发上 |
| [16:00] | while Monique feeds me | 让莫妮可喂我 |
| [16:02] | the best macaroni and cheese I’ve ever had. | 我吃过最美味的奶酪通心粉 |
| [16:05] | You said that I made the best macaroni and cheese. | 你说我做的奶酪通心粉是最美味的 |
| [16:08] | You did. | 没错 |
| [16:09] | But you dead. | 但你死了 |
| [16:11] | Guys, please. | 别吵了 |
| [16:12] | No, no, no, no, no, no! That-That’s all right. | 不不不 没关系 |
| [16:14] | ‘Cause I don’t even cook anymore. | 因为我都不做饭了 |
| [16:15] | Yeah, me and Winston– we hired a private chef | 我和温斯顿 我们把你的汽车店卖了 |
| [16:18] | with the money that we got from selling your shop! | 请了个私人厨师 |
| [16:21] | Marty, when I die, | 马蒂 我一咽气 |
| [16:22] | burn down my shop. | 立马把店烧了 |
| [16:25] | Okay! Before I get arrested for arson | 好了 在我因纵火罪被捕 |
| [16:27] | and have to be bailed out by my stepbrother/dad, | 并被我的继兄兼继父保释之前 |
| [16:32] | can you both sit down and be quiet? | 你们俩能不能闭嘴坐下 |
| [16:35] | Fine. | 行 |
| [16:36] | I was gonna sit down anyway. | 我本来也要坐 |
| [16:40] | I can’t believe you guys are arguing about this. | 你们这也要吵架 |
| [16:42] | Do you know how lucky you are? | 你们不知道自己多幸运吗 |
| [16:44] | People my age can’t find somebody to be with | 像我这个年龄段的人根本找不到 |
| [16:46] | for more than two weeks. | 能待在一起超过两周的人 |
| [16:48] | If it weren’t for you two, I… | 如果不是因为你们 |
| [16:50] | I wouldn’t even believe in love anymore. | 我根本就不会相信爱情了 |
| [16:55] | I mean, look at you. | 看看你们俩 |
| [16:56] | After 30 years, you’re both still so in love with each other | 结婚30年了 你们仍然爱着彼此 |
| [16:59] | that you’re jealous of people that don’t even exist. | 却嫉妒那些根本不存在的人 |
| [17:05] | Monique Baker exists. | 莫妮可·贝克存在 |
| [17:07] | You know, I would’ve never even brought her up | 要不是你准备向前看 忘记我 |
| [17:09] | if you weren’t so ready to move on and forget about me. | 我根本就不会提起她 |
| [17:14] | I could never forget about you. | 我怎么可能忘记你 |
| [17:16] | Calvin, you’re my soul mate. | 卡尔文 你是我的灵魂伴侣 |
| [17:18] | If I lost you, I would be devastated. | 要是失去你 我会崩溃的 |
| [17:22] | How devastated? | 有多崩溃 |
| [17:26] | Calvin, why are we even talking about this? | 卡尔文 这有什么好吵的 |
| [17:29] | I don’t want to imagine life without you. | 我不愿意去想象没有你的生活 |
| [17:33] | I know. | 我知道 |
| [17:34] | I’d miss me, too. | 换做是我 我也会想我自己的 |
| [17:41] | Give me a kiss, you big old… | 我要亲亲 你这个又老 |
| [17:43] | sexy honey bear, you. | 又性感的小宝贝 |
| [17:45] | Come here. | 过来 |
| [17:48] | Okay, okay. If you guys are good, | 好吧 要是你们俩和好了 |
| [17:50] | – let’s get this over with. – You know what, Marty, | -我们把遗嘱立完 -马蒂 |
| [17:51] | we’re gonna have to do this another time. | 我们找时间再做吧 |
| [17:53] | Your mother and I have some making up to do. | 我和你妈要亲热一下 |
| [17:57] | Okay, that is it. Malcolm is definitely inheriting the couch. | 这个沙发将来归马尔科姆了 |
| [18:02] | Well, in that case, | 要是那样的话 |
| [18:03] | you ain’t gonna want the truck either. | 那辆卡车你也不会想要了 |
| [18:10] | Hey, Malcolm. | 马尔科姆 |
| [18:12] | I was just coming over to see how you’re doing. | 我过来看看你怎么样了 |
| [18:14] | I’m fine. | 我还好 |
| [18:15] | Just went for a little walk. | 就去散了个步 |
| [18:17] | So, how’d the rest of the night with Sofia go? | 我走之后 你们和索菲亚聊得怎么样 |
| [18:19] | Kind of weird. | 有点尴尬 |
| [18:20] | Dave tried to keep her from laughing | 为了不让她笑 |
| [18:22] | by talking about the opioid crisis | 戴夫就跟她聊鸦片战争 |
| [18:24] | and how all the bees are dying. | 还有蜜蜂是怎么死的 |
| [18:28] | Hey, what did you mean when you said you’re the deal breaker? | 你为什么说是你的问题 |
| [18:32] | Look, Sofia is amazing. | 索菲亚很棒 |
| [18:35] | She’s beautiful, she’s sophisticated, | 她漂亮 成熟 |
| [18:38] | she’s successful. | 还很成功 |
| [18:39] | But look at me, Gemma. | 你再看看我 杰玛 |
| [18:40] | I’m still living at home, trying to get my life together. | 仍然住在爸妈家 生活还没走上正轨 |
| [18:44] | That’s not how anyone sees you. | 你在别人眼中不是这样的 |
| [18:46] | You’re a great guy. | 你是个好人 |
| [18:48] | Well, maybe, but what do I have to offer her? | 也许吧 但是我能给她什么呢 |
| [18:51] | Aside from watching Netflix on my parents’ couch | 也就能在爸妈的沙发上看网飞 |
| [18:54] | while my pops rubs lotion on his feet. | 我老爹还在旁边往脚上涂乳液 |
| [18:59] | Yeah, he’s done that on our couch, too. | 他在我们家沙发上也涂过 |
| [19:04] | Look, the fact is, | 现实就是 |
| [19:06] | Sofia’s out of my league right now. | 我现在配不上索菲亚 |
| [19:09] | Malcolm… | 马尔科姆 |
| [19:11] | where you are now in your life is gonna change. | 你的将来是会改变的 |
| [19:15] | What’s not gonna change is who you are. | 但你的本质是不会变的 |
| [19:19] | And Sofia likes who you are. | 索菲亚也喜欢真正的你 |
| [19:23] | She said that? | 她这么说的 |
| [19:24] | Why don’t you read the text yourself? | 你自己看看她发的信息 |
| [19:32] | Well, she talks a lot about my butt. | 她老是提我的屁股啊 |
| [19:36] | Kind of makes me feel like a piece of meat. | 让我感觉自己就是一坨肉 |
| [19:39] | I like that. | 我喜欢 |
| [19:43] | Look, Sofia’s a total catch, | 索菲亚绝对值得 |
| [19:45] | and you shouldn’t let her get away. | 你不应该放手 |
| [19:47] | And I would tell her the exact same thing about you. | 我也会在她面前这么说你的 |
| [19:52] | Thank you, Gemma. | 谢谢你 杰玛 |
| [19:54] | I’m gonna go give her a call. | 我给她打个电话 |
| [19:58] | Just like that, Dr. Wedding Bells saves another patient. | 就这样 爱神丘比特再次命中目标 |
| [20:02] | Shut the damn door! | 把门关上 |
| [20:08] | Was he putting lotion on his feet? | 他又在往脚上涂乳液了 |
| [20:10] | Yeah, let’s just go with that. | 你就这么想吧 |
| [20:17] | So, before you married Tina and were dating, | 跟缇娜结婚之前 你在交往的时候 |
| [20:19] | did you have any deal breakers? | 会有硬性条件吗 |
| [20:21] | I only had two rules, Dave. | 我只有两个条件 戴夫 |
| [20:23] | Pretty feet and a big ole butt. | 美足和翘臀 |
| [20:27] | Well, what about with friends– | 那交朋友呢 |
| [20:29] | any rules there? | 有条件吗 |
| [20:30] | A bunch. | 很多 |
| [20:31] | No one from Michigan, | 不能是密歇根人 |
| [20:33] | no optimists | 不能是乐天派 |
| [20:35] | and definitely no one named Dave. | 绝对不能叫戴夫 |
| [20:39] | Well, you know, I happen to have a few rules of my own. | 我也有一些条件 |
| [20:43] | All right. Let’s hear ’em. | 说来听听 |
| [20:45] | They have to be grumpy, | 必须脾气暴躁 |
| [20:46] | they have to know everything | 必须什么都知道 |
| [20:48] | and they definitely have to be able to fix a car. | 绝对要会修车 |
| [20:53] | Dave, if those are your rules, | 戴夫 如果这就是你的条件 |
| [20:55] | that would mean we would be best friends. | 我们俩肯定能成为最好的朋友 |
| [20:57] | You said it, not me. | 是你说的 不是我 |
| [20:59] | Booyah! | 棒呆 |