| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:06] | – Hey, Calvin. – Hey, guys. | -卡尔文 -伙计们 |
| [00:08] | Thanks again for taking this stuff to Goodwill for us. | 再次感谢你帮我们把这些东西送去二手店 |
| [00:10] | Oh, no problem. Oh, and, uh, | 没事 对了 |
| [00:12] | congratulations, Dave, on finally moving out of | 恭喜你 戴夫 终于从高脚椅 |
| [00:14] | congratulations, Dave, on finally moving out of | 恭喜你 戴夫 终于从高脚椅 |
| [00:15] | a high chair into a booster seat. | 坐到了加高椅 |
| [00:17] | You know, not funny now, and not funny at restaurants | 现在一点都不好笑 而且在餐馆里 |
| [00:20] | when you have the waiter bring one over for me. | 你让服务员给我带一个过来的时候也不好笑 |
| [00:24] | Oh, wow, looks like you guys are getting rid | 看来你们要把葛罗弗的旧婴儿用品 |
| [00:27] | of Grover’s old baby stuff. | 处理掉了 |
| [00:28] | Yeah. We used to think about having another kid. | 嗯 我们曾经想过要再生一个孩子 |
| [00:30] | But by the time Grover was out of diapers, | 但当葛罗弗不用尿布以后 |
| [00:32] | life got so busy, it just kind of never happened. | 生活变得很忙碌 就没要二胎了 |
| [00:35] | Yeah, plus we agreed we’re happy with just having one. | 是啊 而且我们都同意只要一个就好了 |
| [00:37] | After all, I’m an only child and I think we all know | 毕竟 我是个独生子 我们都知道 |
| [00:39] | that I turned out pretty spectacular. | 我现在多出色啊 |
| [00:41] | We also know that one of you is definitely enough. | 我们也知道 有你一个就够够的了 |
| [00:44] | We also know that one of you is definitely enough. | 我们也知道 有你一个就够够的了 |
| [00:46] | Aw, remember this little guy? | 还记得这个小家伙吗 |
| [00:50] | Oh, yeah. Captain Cuddleduck. | 是啊 抱抱鸭船长 |
| [00:52] | He was Grover’s favorite. | 他是葛罗弗的最爱 |
| [00:53] | Yeah, we’d peek into his room at night, | 是的 我们晚上会偷看他的房间 |
| [00:54] | and there they’d be, curled up together. | 他们就会蜷缩在一起 |
| [00:56] | Snug as two bugs in a rug. | 像地毯上的两只虫子一样 |
| [00:59] | Aw, that’s adorable. | 真可爱 |
| [01:01] | Peace out, Captain. | 再见 船长 |
| [01:03] | Well, uh, hold on. | 等等 |
| [01:08] | Maybe we should keep him. | 也许我们应该留下他 |
| [01:09] | Why? Grover hasn’t slept with him for years. | 为什么 葛罗弗已经好几年没和他一起睡了 |
| [01:11] | I know. But it’s just one thing to remind us of when he was little. | 我知道 但是这玩意能让我们想起了小时候的样子 |
| [01:14] | I know. But it’s just one thing to remind us of when he was little. | 我知道 但是这玩意能让我们想起了小时候的样子 |
| [01:16] | Okay, sure. | 好吧 |
| [01:17] | Besides, Cuddleduck is a veteran. | 另外 抱抱鸭船长是退伍军人 |
| [01:19] | Welcome home, soldier. | 欢迎回家 士兵 |
| [01:22] | What’s this? | 这是什么 |
| [01:23] | Uh, it’s a bottle warmer. | 暖瓶器 |
| [01:24] | You use it to warm up a baby’s milk. | 用来加热婴儿的乳汁 |
| [01:26] | Oh yeah, we used to have one of those, too. | 是啊 我们以前也有这样的 |
| [01:29] | It was called an armpit. | 它被称为腋窝 |
| [01:32] | I put one under there one time after playing basketball. | 我有一次打篮球时放了一个 |
| [01:35] | It got so hot it burned Marty’s lip. | 结果烫伤了马蒂的嘴唇 |
| [01:39] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [01:41] | You know what? Maybe we should keep this, too. | 你知道吗 也许我们也该留着这个 |
| [01:43] | It sounds like you guys aren’t ready to get rid of some of this stuff. | 听起来你们还没准备好扔掉这些东西 |
| [01:44] | It sounds like you guys aren’t ready to get rid of some of this stuff. | 听起来你们还没准备好扔掉这些东西 |
| [01:46] | Of course we are. | 当然好了 |
| [01:51] | Gemma, what are you doing? | 杰玛 你在干什么 |
| [01:56] | I don’t know. My brain’s saying “Let go,” | 我不知道 我的大脑在说”放手” |
| [01:58] | but my hand’s aren’t listening. | 但我的手不听 |
| [02:01] | Okay, Gemma, let go of the high chair. | 好吧 杰玛 放开高脚椅 |
| [02:04] | Oh, my… | 我的 |
| [02:06] | I can’t. | 我不行 |
| [02:07] | Why not? | 为什么 |
| [02:08] | Because I think I want another baby. | 因为我想再要一个孩子 |
| [02:11] | What? | 什么 |
| [02:12] | Well, what do you know, Captain? | 这谁能想到呢 船长 |
| [02:15] | Looks like you’re headed back to the front lines. | 看来你要回到前线了 |
| [02:27] | Gem… | 杰 |
| [02:30] | Gemma, we need to talk about this. | 杰玛 我们得谈谈 |
| [02:33] | Having another baby is a huge decision. | 再生一个孩子是一个重要的决定 |
| [02:35] | I know. And I know we agreed on only having one child. | 我知道 我知道我们说好只生一个孩子 |
| [02:39] | But we also agreed on one taco night a week, | 但我们也说好每周吃一晚玉米卷 |
| [02:41] | and now we do it on Tuesdays and Fridays. | 现在我们星期二和星期五都会吃 |
| [02:44] | That is not true. | 不是这样的 |
| [02:45] | And Fajita Fridays is mucho diferente. | 星期五的墨西哥烤肉大不相同 |
| [02:49] | Besides, are you seriously trying to compare | 再说了 你真的要把再生一个孩子 |
| [02:52] | having another kid to that? | 和这个做比较吗 |
| [02:54] | I’m sorry. I didn’t know I was gonna feel this way. | 抱歉 我不知道我会有这种感觉 |
| [02:57] | But there was just something about giving away Grover’s baby stuff | 但是扔掉葛罗弗的婴儿用品 |
| [03:02] | that made me realize I don’t think I want to be done yet. | 让我意识到 我还不想就这么算了 |
| [03:04] | But, Gemma, our lives are perfect right now. | 杰玛 我们现在的生活很完美 |
| [03:07] | We have great jobs, an amazing son. | 我们有好工作 一个好儿子 |
| [03:09] | We’re the Three Musketeers every year for Halloween. | 我们是每年万圣节的三个火枪手 |
| [03:12] | Another baby ruins the whole theme. | 再生一个孩子就破坏了主题 |
| [03:17] | I’m just saying we have so many sweet memories of Grover growing up. | 我只是觉得我们有很多葛罗弗成长的美好回忆 |
| [03:20] | I’m just saying we have so many sweet memories of Grover growing up. | 我只是觉得我们有很多葛罗弗成长的美好回忆 |
| [03:23] | His first smile, his first steps, his first words. | 他第一个微笑 第一步 第一句话 |
| [03:25] | And his first words were a four-letter one | 他的第一句话是他从楼梯上摔下来时 |
| [03:27] | His first smile, he spit up on us. | 他第一个微笑 就吐在了我们身上 |
| [03:29] | His first steps, he fell down the stairs. | 他第一步是从楼梯上摔下来 |
| [03:31] | And his first words were a four-letter one | 他的第一句话是他从楼梯上摔下来时 |
| [03:33] | – when he was falling down those stairs. – Uh, no. | -说的四个字母的脏话 -不 |
| [03:37] | That’s what you think he said. | 那是你觉得 |
| [03:38] | I still think he said Cuddleduck. | 我还是觉得他说的是抱抱鸭 |
| [03:41] | All right, my point is | 好吧 我的意思是 |
| [03:43] | is I just think you’re forgetting how hard it was. | 我觉得你忘了孩子有多难带 |
| [03:46] | Oh, come on. It wasn’t that bad. | 拜托 没那么糟啦 |
| [03:48] | Do you not remember getting up every two hours to feed him, | 你不记得每两小时就起来喂他一次吗 |
| [03:51] | the dirty diapers, the endless screaming? I mean, Gemma… | 脏尿布 没完没了的尖叫 杰玛 |
| [03:56] | …forgive my language, | 原谅我的词汇 |
| [03:57] | but it was a Cuddleducking nightmare. | 但那是一场令人”抱抱鸭”噩梦 |
| [04:01] | Look, all I’m asking is for you to think about it. | 我只是希望你好好考虑一下 |
| [04:04] | But, look, for the record, | 听着 我要说的是 |
| [04:06] | I just don’t think another baby is what we need right now. | 我觉得我们现在不用再生一个孩子 |
| [04:08] | What, another baby?! | 什么 再生一个 |
| [04:10] | Are you guys crazy?! | 你们疯了吗 |
| [04:12] | What about the Three Musketeers?! | 那三个火枪手怎么办 |
| [04:17] | Don’t worry, sweetie. | 别担心 亲爱的 |
| [04:18] | It’s just something Dad and I are talking about. | 我和爸爸只是在讨论 |
| [04:20] | Well, I vote no. | 我投反对票 |
| [04:23] | Although… | 但是 |
| [04:25] | a puppy and an Xbox might help me get there. | 一只小狗和一个Xbox也许能说服我 |
| [04:32] | Oh, hey, babe. How did it go at Goodwill? | 宝贝 二手店怎么样 |
| [04:34] | Great. In fact, while I was there, | 非常好 我到了以后 |
| [04:37] | I picked you up an early birthday present. | 提前给你买了一份生日礼物 |
| [04:40] | Really, Calvin? | 真的吗 卡尔文 |
| [04:42] | You bought my birthday present from a thrift store? | 你从二手店给我买生日礼物 |
| [04:44] | No, Tina. | 不 缇娜 |
| [04:47] | I would never buy my baby something used. | 我决不会给我的宝贝买二手货 |
| [04:50] | It was on the free table. | 这是免费的 |
| [04:53] | Well, what is it? | 这是什么 |
| [04:56] | It is an antique leather-bound Bible | 这是一本古董皮革装订的圣经 |
| [05:00] | With gold lettering and brass corners. | 上面刻有金字和黄铜角 |
| [05:02] | Just like the one your grandmama used to have. | 就像你奶奶之前的那个 |
| [05:05] | Calvin, it’s beautiful. | 卡尔文 真漂亮 |
| [05:08] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [05:09] | Yeah, don’t thank me, thank God. | 别谢我 感谢上帝吧 |
| [05:11] | For blessing you with such an amazing husband. | 感谢你有这么一个了不起的丈夫 |
| [05:15] | You know, I still say it was my cousin Anita | 我还是觉得是我表妹安妮塔 |
| [05:18] | who stole that Bible during my grandma’s funeral. | 在我奶奶的葬礼上偷了那本圣经 |
| [05:20] | But you can’t accuse a nun with no evidence. | 但是不能在没有证据的情况下指控修女 |
| [05:23] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [05:25] | Anita was hood before she was holy. | 安妮塔成为修女之前就是小混混 |
| [05:30] | What? | 什么 |
| [05:32] | Baby, there’s money in here. | 宝贝 这里有钱 |
| [05:34] | Let me see that. | 让我看看 |
| [05:37] | This is, like, $700, $800. | 大概有七八百块 |
| [05:40] | Forget the Good Book. This is a great book. | 忘了圣经吧 这书也太棒了 |
| [05:44] | Well, Calvin, we can’t keep this money. | 卡尔文 我们不能留着这些钱 |
| [05:46] | We need to return it to its rightful owner. | 我们要把它还给合法主人 |
| [05:48] | Tina, it’s an antique Bible from the Goodwill. | 缇娜 这是二手店的古董圣经 |
| [05:52] | There’s no way we can find out who it actually belongs to, | 我们不可能知道谁是它的主人 |
| [05:55] | especially if we don’t look. | 尤其是我们不找的话 |
| [05:59] | Well, fine. If we can’t return it, | 好吧 如果我们无法归还 |
| [06:01] | then God would want us to do something charitable with it. | 上帝会希望我们用它做些善事 |
| [06:04] | You know, this kind of money | 你知道 这种钱 |
| [06:05] | can really make a difference in someone’s life. | 真的能改变一个人的生活 |
| [06:07] | You’re right. | 你说得对 |
| [06:09] | Mine. | 我的生活 |
| [06:11] | I’m gonna buy me a giant new flat-screen with this. | 我要用这些钱买个新的大电视 |
| [06:15] | I’m warning you, Calvin. | 我警告你 卡尔文 |
| [06:17] | This is a test from God. | 这是上帝的考验 |
| [06:18] | And He is watching. | 祂在看呢 |
| [06:20] | Exactly. | 没错 |
| [06:22] | Which is why it’s disrespectful to make Him watch this tiny-ass TV. | 所以让祂看这个小电视是不礼貌的 |
| [06:24] | Which is why it’s disrespectful to make Him watch this tiny-ass TV. | 所以让祂看这个小电视是不礼貌的 |
| [06:29] | Oh. Hey, Calvin. What you doing? | 卡尔文 你在干什么 |
| [06:32] | I’m looking at getting a new TV. | 我想买台新电视 |
| [06:34] | Trying to decide should I go LED or QLED. | 我在想应该买LED还是QLED |
| [06:39] | What’s the Q stand for? | Q代表什么 |
| [06:41] | No idea. | 不知道 |
| [06:42] | I just know I deserve it. | 我只知道这是我应得的 |
| [06:46] | you’re lucky that’s the biggest decision you have to make today. | 你很幸运 这是你今天要做的最大决定 |
| [06:50] | Gemma’s still talking about having another kid | 杰玛还是想再生一个孩子 |
| [06:52] | and wants me to think about it. | 她希望我考虑一下 |
| [06:55] | Dave, | 戴夫 |
| [06:56] | when your wife tells you to think about it, | 当你妻子让你考虑的时候 |
| [06:59] | there’s nothing left to think about. | 就没什么可考虑的了 |
| [07:01] | It’s already been thunk. | 这事已经定了 |
| [07:06] | I don’t know. | 我不知道 |
| [07:08] | You know, we-we have such a good thing going. | 我们现在的生活多好啊 |
| [07:11] | I just don’t want anything to mess that all up. | 我只是不希望任何事情打扰现在的生活 |
| [07:13] | Well, look on the bright side: | 好吧 看看好的一面 |
| [07:15] | now you can stop being those three weird pirates for Halloween. | 现在你们可以不用扮成万圣节的三个奇怪海盗了 |
| [07:21] | You know, not to mention it would be even harder this time. | 更不用说这次更难了 |
| [07:24] | I mean, we already have a kid, | 我们已经有孩子了 |
| [07:27] | and we’re ten years older. | 自己也老了十岁 |
| [07:28] | It’s like she doesn’t realize how much this is gonna affect our lives. | 她好像没意识到这会对我们的生活造成多大影响 |
| [07:29] | It’s like she doesn’t realize how much this is gonna affect our lives. | 她好像没意识到这会对我们的生活造成多大影响 |
| [07:31] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [07:32] | Well, you got to find a way to show her. | 你得想办法让她意识到 |
| [07:35] | Yeah, well, how do I do that? | 嗯 我该怎么做 |
| [07:37] | Not my problem. | 不是我的问题 |
| [07:39] | The only baby I care about right now is 65 inches long | 我现在唯一关心的宝贝 只有65英寸长 |
| [07:43] | and made in Korea. | 韩国制造 |
| [07:48] | Oh, hey, babe. | 宝贝 |
| [07:50] | Just in time. | 来得正是时候 |
| [07:51] | For what? | 怎么了 |
| [07:52] | To watch me buy a new TV with our gift card from God. | 看我用上帝的礼物卡买一台新电视 |
| [07:54] | To watch me buy a new TV with our gift card from God. | 看我用上帝的礼物卡买一台新电视 |
| [07:58] | Look at that. | 看看 |
| [08:00] | He gave unto us free shipping. | 祂还给我们包邮了 |
| [08:05] | Look, Calvin, I know you don’t believe this is a test, | 卡尔文 我知道你不相信这是个测试 |
| [08:09] | but look where the money was stashed. | 但是看看钱藏在哪里 |
| [08:11] | First Timothy. | 《提摩太前书》 |
| [08:13] | “For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evils.” | 爱钱是万恶之源 |
| [08:18] | Well, let’s not forget what it says in Leviticus. | 别忘了它在《利未记》里说了什么 |
| [08:22] | “Finders keepers, losers weepers.” | 拾者占有 物主伤心 |
| [08:28] | Okay. Fine, Calvin, you keep making jokes. | 好吧 卡尔文 你一直在开玩笑 |
| [08:32] | But don’t come running to me when the Lord starts punishing you. | 但是当上帝开始惩罚你的时候 不要跑来找我 |
| [08:33] | But don’t come running to me when the Lord starts punishing you. | 但是当上帝开始惩罚你的时候 不要跑来找我 |
| [08:37] | I’ll be fine, Tina. | 我没事的 缇娜 |
| [08:39] | Besides, if God didn’t want me to have a new flat-screen, | 再说了 如果上帝不想让我买新电视 |
| [08:43] | he wouldn’t have blessed me with a laptop to order it on. | 就不会给我一台笔记本电脑来下单了 |
| [08:52] | Well, it looks to me like God just logged you off. | 在我看来 上帝刚刚把你注销了 |
| [09:00] | Ooh. Hey, honey. | 亲爱的 |
| [09:01] | Hey, sweetie. What’s in the box? | 亲爱的 盒子里是什么 |
| [09:03] | Okay, sure. | 好吧 |
| [09:05] | if we are really considering having another baby, | 如果我们真的要考虑再生一个孩子 |
| [09:08] | I figured we should make sure that we’re ready. So… | 我们应该确保我们准备好了 所以 |
| [09:11] | I got us this. | 我准备了这个 |
| [09:15] | You bought a doll? | 你买了个洋娃娃 |
| [09:17] | Oh, no, no, no. Not just a doll. | 不不不 不仅是一个洋娃娃 |
| [09:19] | She’s a Baby Be Sure. | 她是个”测试宝宝” |
| [09:22] | Yeah, it’s a robotic parenting simulator | 这是一个机器人育儿模拟器 |
| [09:24] | that you have to feed and take care of. | 你必须养育和照顾它 |
| [09:26] | Oh, you mean those things they give high school kids | 你是说他们给高中生的那些东西 |
| [09:28] | to make ’em not want to have sex? | 让他们不想做爱吗 |
| [09:30] | Because if that’s your goal, it’s working. | 如果这是你的目标 那已经奏效了 |
| [09:33] | No, no, no. Look, I just thought… | 不不不 听着 我只是想 |
| [09:37] | I-I just thought that, before we do this, | 我只是想 在我们决定之前 |
| [09:40] | we should spend a few days to see | 我们应该花几天时间看看 |
| [09:43] | what it’s like to have a baby in the house again. | 再生个孩子是什么感觉 |
| [09:44] | Oh, all right. I see what you’re doing here. | 我知道你的意思了 |
| [09:47] | You’re trying to remind me how hard it is | 你想提醒我这有多难 |
| [09:49] | so I’ll change my mind. | 让我改变主意 |
| [09:51] | Challenge accepted. | 接受挑战 |
| [09:53] | Okay. All right. Great. | 好吧 非常好 |
| [09:55] | ‘Cause, in that case, | 既然这样 |
| [09:57] | congratulations, Ms. Johnson. | 恭喜你 强森女士 |
| [09:59] | it’s a girl. | 是个女孩 |
| [10:02] | All right, turn her on. | 好吧 开机吧 |
| [10:03] | Let’s see what she’s like. | 看看她怎么样 |
| [10:09] | She’s so cute. | 她真可爱 |
| [10:15] | Did this thing just poop? | 它刚才便便了吗 |
| [10:17] | Yeah. I had to pay extra for that. | 为了这个功能 我还多花钱了呢 |
| [10:26] | Dave, | 戴夫 |
| [10:29] | Hey, Marty. | 马蒂 |
| [10:30] | Hey, man, I don’t mean to get all up in your business, | 老兄 我不想多管你的闲事 |
| [10:34] | but why the hell do you have a Betsy Wetsy strapped to your chest? | 但是为什么你的胸口绑着排尿娃娃 |
| [10:35] | but why the hell do you have a Betsy Wetsy strapped to your chest? | 但是为什么你的胸口绑着排尿娃娃 |
| [10:38] | She’s not a Betsy Wetsy. | 她不是排尿娃娃 |
| [10:39] | She’s a robot doll you take care of to see if you want kids. | 她是用来照顾 测试是否想要孩子的机器娃娃 |
| [10:41] | She’s a robot doll you take care of to see if you want kids. | 她是用来照顾 测试是否想要孩子的机器娃娃 |
| [10:43] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [10:44] | No, they gave us those in high school to discourage teen sex, | 不 他们在高中时给我们用来阻止青少年性行为 |
| [10:45] | No, they gave us those in high school to discourage teen sex, | 不 他们在高中时给我们用来阻止青少年性行为 |
| [10:46] | but I think my Pokémon backpack took care of that for me. | 但我觉得我的口袋妖怪背包已经帮我搞定了 |
| [10:48] | but I think my Pokémon backpack took care of that for me. | 但我觉得我的口袋妖怪背包已经帮我搞定了 |
| [10:50] | I got it to show Gemma | 我要给杰玛看 |
| [10:52] | how hard it would be to have another kid, | 再要一个孩子有多难 |
| [10:54] | but she’s doing amazing. | 但她做得很棒 |
| [10:57] | It’s a disaster. | 这是一场灾难 |
| [10:58] | Okay, yeah, man. | 是的 伙计 |
| [11:00] | It must really suck to be married | 嫁给这样一个 |
| [11:01] | to such an incredible wife and mother. | 不可思议的妻子和母亲一定很难受吧 |
| [11:03] | Gemma’s not the problem. It’s… it’s this baby. | 杰玛不是问题所在 问题是这个孩子 |
| [11:07] | She’s too easy to take care of. | 她太容易照顾了 |
| [11:09] | She’s not a Baby Be Sure,she’s a Baby Let’s Get It On. | 她算不上”测试宝宝” 她应该叫”赶紧生宝宝” |
| [11:14] | Well, if you want to make it harder, | 如果你想让它更难带 |
| [11:15] | you could always just kick it up a notch. | 你可以把它提高一个档次 |
| [11:18] | What do you mean? | 什么意思 |
| [11:19] | Well, these things run on simple software. | 这些东西运行的软件很简单 |
| [11:21] | They can be programmed to act any way you want. | 它们可以被编程成任何你想要的方式 |
| [11:23] | So, hypothetically, | 所以 理论上 |
| [11:24] | you could program this baby to drive Gemma crazy? | 你能让这个孩子把杰玛逼疯吗 |
| [11:26] | Dave, I could program it to drive Gemma to Costco. | 戴夫 我可以编程让它送杰玛去好市多 |
| [11:32] | Okay, sure. | 好吧 |
| [11:34] | I’m in. | 我加入 |
| [11:35] | But just know, I’m only doing this because I’m desperate. | 但你要知道 我这么做只是因为我很绝望 |
| [11:37] | But just know, I’m only doing this because I’m desperate. | 但你要知道 我这么做只是因为我很绝望 |
| [11:39] | Trust me, until you’ve worn a Pikachu backpack to prom, | 相信我 在你背着皮卡丘背包去舞会之前 |
| [11:42] | you don’t know what desperate is. | 你根本不知道什么是绝望 |
| [11:46] | Hey, Pop. | 老爹 |
| [11:48] | How come you haven’t put your new TV up yet? | 你怎么还没把新电视机装上 |
| [11:50] | Thought it came in yesterday. | 不是昨天送来的吗 |
| [11:52] | It did. | 是的 |
| [11:53] | But you know what else happened yesterday? | 但你知道昨天还发生了什么吗 |
| [11:55] | I banged my knee on the coffee table, | 我的膝盖撞到了咖啡桌上 |
| [11:57] | got a summons for jury duty, | 拿到了陪审团的传票 |
| [11:59] | then banged my knee again | 然后我扔陪审团传票的时候 |
| [12:01] | while throwing out the summons for jury duty. | 又撞到了我的膝盖 |
| [12:06] | What’s your point? | 你什么意思 |
| [12:08] | Other than you are a terrible citizen | 除了你是个糟糕的公民 |
| [12:10] | who needs to watch where he’s going. | 活动的时候需要注意点 |
| [12:12] | I’m just saying, I think your mom might be right. | 我只是说 你妈可能是对的 |
| [12:15] | God is angry with me | 上帝在生我的气 |
| [12:17] | for buying the TV with that money I found in a Bible. | 因为我用圣经里的钱买了电视 |
| [12:20] | Please, Pop, | 拜托 老爹 |
| [12:21] | I’m pretty sure God’s got bigger fish to fry | 我敢肯定上帝有更重要的事要做 |
| [12:23] | than worrying about you and your flat-screen. | 而不是担心你和你的电视 |
| [12:25] | Well, for other people, you’d probably be right, | 对其他人来说 你可能是对的 |
| [12:28] | but in His eyes, I’m pretty high-profile. | 但我在祂心中的位置很重要 |
| [12:33] | Yeah, Pop, you are being ridiculous, man. | 老爹 你这也太扯了 |
| [12:35] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [12:37] | Then explain to me why I got a parking ticket yesterday. | 那给我解释一下为什么我昨天收到了停车罚单 |
| [12:39] | Did you put money in the meter? | 你在计价器里放钱了吗 |
| [12:41] | No, I never put money in the meter. | 不 我从不放钱 |
| [12:45] | But up until now, He didn’t care. | 但在此之前 祂都不在乎 |
| [12:49] | Look, I’m telling you, Pop, | 听着 老爹 |
| [12:51] | bad things like that happen every day. | 像这样的倒霉事 每天都在发生 |
| [12:53] | Mama is just in your head. | 老妈在忽悠你 |
| [12:55] | Maybe. | 也许吧 |
| [12:56] | You know what? | 你知道吗 |
| [12:58] | She is always trying to sneak in there | 她总是想忽悠我 |
| [13:01] | and trick me into being a better person. | 骗我成为一个更好的人 |
| [13:04] | Well, that makes a lot more sense | 这比你被天上的 |
| [13:06] | than you getting busted by the almighty meter maid in the sky. | 万能的仪表少女抓到要靠谱多了 |
| [13:09] | You’re right. You’re right. Come on, man. | 你说得对 你说得对 来吧 |
| [13:11] | Help me out with this. We’ll put it up right now. | 帮我弄一下 我们现在就把它挂起来 |
| [13:12] | Help me out with this. We’ll put it up right now. | 帮我弄一下 我们现在就把它挂起来 |
| [13:13] | – All right. – Grab that side. | -好吧 -抓住那一边 |
| [13:15] | One, two, three. | 一 二 三 |
| [13:21] | On second thought… | 仔细想想 |
| [13:23] | you know, you’re right. | 你是对的 |
| [13:25] | God is coming for your ass. | 上帝来找你算账了 |
| [13:32] | Good afternoon, sir. Did someone order a devil baby? | 下午好 先生 有人点了魔鬼宝宝吗 |
| [13:36] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [13:37] | What’d you do to her? | 你对她做了什么 |
| [13:38] | Well, I souped up her crying, | 我让她哭得更大声 |
| [13:40] | maxed out her thrashing ability, | 把她的打击能力调到最强 |
| [13:42] | and made her impossible to calm down. | 让她无法平静下来 |
| [13:43] | Basically, she’s every baby I ever sat next to on an airplane. | 她就是我在飞机上邻座的所有孩子 |
| [13:44] | Basically, she’s every baby I ever sat next to on an airplane. | 她就是我在飞机上邻座的所有孩子 |
| [13:47] | All right, well, how do I activate her? | 好吧 那我怎么激活她 |
| [13:49] | Oh, it’s simple. All you got to do is pat her on the head, | 很简单 你只要拍拍她的头 |
| [13:51] | and just like that, Gemma’s baby | 就这样 杰玛的宝宝 |
| [13:53] | becomes Rosemary’s baby. | 变成了”罗斯玛丽的宝宝” |
| [13:55] | Thank you, Marty. I owe you big time. | 谢谢你 马蒂 我欠你一个大人请 |
| [13:58] | Oh, man, if you want to thank me, | 伙计 如果你想感谢我 |
| [13:59] | just, uh keep your doors locked. | 把门锁好就行了 |
| [14:01] | I don’t want that monster coming after its creator. | 我不希望这个怪物来找它的创造者 |
| [14:04] | – Hey, sweetie. – Hi. | -亲爱的 -嗨 |
| [14:06] | Hey, Marty. | 马蒂 |
| [14:08] | Did you meet the newest member of the Johnson family? | 你见过强森家族的新成员了吗 |
| [14:10] | I did. She’s adorable. | 是的 她很可爱 |
| [14:11] | A real computer chip off the old block. | 和爸妈真像 |
| [14:13] | You want to hold her? | 你想抱抱她吗 |
| [14:15] | No, thanks. | 不用了 谢谢 |
| [14:16] | Come on, she doesn’t bite. | 拜托 她又不咬人 |
| [14:18] | That’s what you think he said. | 那是你觉得 |
| [14:23] | So, now that you two have spent some more time together, | 既然你们俩在一起这么久了 |
| [14:27] | are you starting to feel better about this? | 你感觉好些了吗 |
| [14:30] | Well, as of a few minutes ago, yes. | 几分钟前感觉好多了 |
| [14:33] | Great. | 太好了 |
| [14:34] | Well, why don’t I take her for a while | 我来带她一会儿吧 |
| [14:35] | While you go relax? | 你休息一下 |
| [14:36] | Okay, you two have fun. | 好的 你们俩玩得开心 |
| [14:38] | And you be good for Mommy. | 你要听妈妈的话 |
| [14:46] | What happened? | 怎么回事 |
| [14:47] | No idea. | 不知道 |
| [14:49] | But I’m sure she’ll calm down. | 但我相信她会冷静下来的 |
| [14:50] | Or not. | 也不一定 |
| [14:56] | Pastor Williams, you got a minute? | 威廉姆斯牧师 你有时间吗 |
| [14:58] | Yeah. Calvin, come on in. | 嗯 卡尔文 进来吧 |
| [15:00] | Who am I praying for this week? | 这周我要为谁祈祷 |
| [15:03] | Dodgers or Lakers? | 道奇还是湖人 |
| [15:05] | Actually, I’m here about something else. | 事实上 我来这里是为了别的事 |
| [15:08] | But I wouldn’t be mad if LeBron got some help off the bench. | 但如果替补席能帮勒布朗分担一点就更好了 |
| [15:13] | So, uh, what brings you in today? | 那今天是什么风把你吹来的 |
| [15:16] | Well, I’m here to make a donation to the church. | 我是来给教堂捐款的 |
| [15:19] | A donation? You? | 捐款 你 |
| [15:23] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [15:25] | What’s so surprising about that? | 这有什么奇怪的 |
| [15:26] | Nothing. But just so you know, | 没什么 但你要知道 |
| [15:28] | we’re no longer accepting used couches or ’80s movies on VHS. | 我们不接受二手沙发和80年代的电影录像带老 |
| [15:33] | You know what? It’s not like that. | 不是那样的 |
| [15:35] | This is cash. | 这是现金 |
| [15:38] | And don’t pretend people weren’t going crazy | 别假装人们不会 |
| [15:40] | over that House Party box set. | 为那套家庭聚会影集发狂 |
| [15:44] | Wow, Calvin, this is… this is a lot of money. | 卡尔文 这是 这是一大笔钱 |
| [15:47] | And don’t take this personally, but… | 你别介意 但是 |
| [15:51] | Seriously? | 不是吧 |
| [15:53] | You’re checking to see if it’s real? | 你在检查是不是真钞 |
| [15:55] | Just think of it as me giving God a closer look. | 你就当我在仔细观察上帝吧 |
| [15:58] | Don’t worry, He knows all about it. | 别担心 祂什么都知道 |
| [16:01] | Tina snitched on me. | 缇娜打我小报告了 |
| [16:04] | Well, Calvin, this is incredibly generous of you. | 卡尔文 你真是太慷慨了 |
| [16:07] | In fact, I would love to mention this in my sermon on Sunday. | 我想在周日的布道中提一下 |
| [16:10] | Your gift might inspire others, | 你的礼物可能会激励别人 |
| [16:12] | and, if nothing else, you deserve to be celebrated. | 不说别的 你的善举也值得庆祝 |
| [16:15] | Well, you know, I wouldn’t say all that. | 好吧 这话我可说不出口 |
| [16:18] | But if you said it, then who am I to argue with a man of God? | 但你要是说了 我又不可能和神仆争辩 |
| [16:22] | Oh, and, uh… | 还有 |
| [16:24] | feel free to put my name in the program, too. | 你也可以把我的名字写进项目里 |
| [16:28] | You know, for the hearing impaired. | 那种听力受损的人的项目 |
| [16:34] | Actually, let’s just make it anonymous. | 其实吧 还是匿名好了 |
| [16:36] | Deaf people ain’t trying to hear all that. | 聋子不想听这些 |
| [16:46] | I don’t know what to do. | 我不知道该怎么办 |
| [16:48] | Did this thing just poop? | 它刚才便便了吗 |
| [16:50] | This thing has been crying for four hours straight. | 这玩意已经哭了四个小时 |
| [16:52] | It’s driving me crazy! | 快把我逼疯了 |
| [16:56] | Okay. All right. Well, look, I know it’s hard. | 好吧 听着 我知道这很难 |
| [16:58] | But look on the bright side– | 但要看到好的一面 |
| [16:59] | if it was a real baby, | 如果这是真的孩子 |
| [17:01] | you’d probably be covered in spit-up. | 你可能全身都是唾沫 |
| [17:02] | Remember how awful that was? | 还记得那有多可怕吗 |
| [17:13] | And I thought the velocity on the other end was impressive. | 我本来还以为另一个口的速度已经够快了 |
| [17:15] | Dave, you were right. | 戴夫 你说得对 |
| [17:17] | I was crazy to think we should do this again. | 我真是疯了 居然还想要孩子 |
| [17:19] | Can you just shut this thing off?! | 你能把这东西关掉吗 |
| [17:20] | Yeah, of course. | 当然了 |
| [17:24] | What’s wrong? Why isn’t it stopping? | 怎么了 为什么还没停 |
| [17:27] | I’m pressing the button. It’s not turning off. | 我按了按钮 但它没关 |
| [17:29] | Dave, it’s getting worse! | 戴夫 情况越来越糟了 |
| [17:32] | Ok… I-I’m trying. | 好吧 我在努力 |
| [17:37] | Make it stop! | 让它停下来 |
| [17:39] | I can’t! Marty never showed me how! | 不行 马蒂没教过我 |
| [17:50] | What do you mean, Marty never showed you how? | 什么叫马蒂没教过你 |
| [17:55] | I didn’t say Marty. | 我没说马蒂 |
| [17:58] | It must have been the baby. | 一定是宝宝说的 |
| [18:01] | Oh, my God, Gemma– her first words. | 天哪 杰玛 她的第一句话 |
| [18:06] | What the hell did you do? | 你到底做了什么 |
| [18:07] | Okay, fine. | 好吧 |
| [18:09] | I had Marty make the baby a little more difficult, | 我让马蒂把孩子改的更难带一点 |
| [18:11] | I had Marty make the baby a little more difficult, | 我让马蒂把孩子改的更难带一点 |
| [18:13] | but just because you were making it look so easy. | 因为你让带孩子看起来很简单 |
| [18:16] | So in a way, it’s a huge compliment to you as a mom. | 所以在某种程度上 这是对你这个母亲的极大赞美 |
| [18:23] | I can’t believe you would do something like this. | 我不敢相信你居然会这样做 |
| [18:25] | Well, what do you expect? | 你想什么呢 |
| [18:27] | You know, we had talked about this | 我们谈过这个 |
| [18:28] | and agreed that we were done having kids. | 说好我们不要孩子了 |
| [18:30] | And then all of a sudden you change your mind | 然后你突然改变了主意 |
| [18:32] | and I’m just supposed to be on board with it? | 我就要全力支持你吗 |
| [18:33] | All I asked you to do was to think about it. | 我只是让你考虑一下 |
| [18:36] | Oh, come on, Gemma. | 得了吧 杰玛 |
| [18:37] | We both know it had already been thunk. | 我们都知道这事已经定了 |
| [18:43] | That is not true. | 不是这样的 |
| [18:45] | I would never force you to do something you don’t want to. | 我绝不会强迫你做你不想做的事 |
| [18:48] | But you didn’t even give it a fair shot. | 但你都没有真正考虑过 |
| [18:50] | You’re so focused on the hard parts, | 你太专注于困难的部分了 |
| [18:52] | you’re forgetting about all the good ones. | 忘了所有美好的部分 |
| [18:54] | No, I’m not. | 不 我没有 |
| [18:55] | Yes, you are. | 是的 你有 |
| [18:57] | Dave, you brought home a robot baby | 戴夫 你带了个机器宝宝回家 |
| [18:59] | that kicks and screams and poops. | 它会乱踢 尖叫 大便 |
| [19:02] | But you know what it doesn’t do? | 但你知道它不能做什么吗 |
| [19:04] | Well, we now know it doesn’t fly. | 我们现在知道它不会飞了 |
| [19:09] | It also doesn’t laugh, | 它也不会笑 |
| [19:12] | or hold your finger with its tiny hand, | 或者用它的小手握住你的手指 |
| [19:16] | or fall asleep on your chest. | 或者趴在你的胸前睡着 |
| [19:19] | It doesn’t smile when you walk into the room, | 你走进房间时 它不会笑 |
| [19:22] | or look you in the eye and say “Daddy.” | 或者看着你的眼睛喊爸爸 |
| [19:26] | But a real baby does all those things, | 但是一个真正的宝宝会做这些事 |
| [19:29] | and so much more. | 还有更多 |
| [19:31] | I did love all those things. | 我真的很喜欢这些 |
| [19:33] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [19:35] | So wouldn’t it be nice to love them all over again? | 所以再爱一次他们不好吗 |
| [19:43] | Yeah, maybe. | 也许吧 |
| [19:44] | So now you’ll really think about it? | 现在你会考虑了吗 |
| [19:48] | Yes. I… I will think about it. | 嗯 我会考虑的 |
| [19:51] | Thank you. | 谢谢 |
| [19:53] | Aw, man! | 天啊 |
| [19:55] | If you guys are gonna try to have another baby, | 如果你们想再要一个孩子 |
| [19:58] | would you at least close the door? | 最起码把门关上吧 |
| [20:06] | So you’re really considering having another kid, huh? | 所以你真的考虑再要一个孩子啊 |
| [20:08] | Yeah, I think so. | 是的 |
| [20:10] | Good for you, man. | 可以啊 |
| [20:12] | Having a second kid was the best thing to ever happen to me. | 二胎是我一生中最美好的事情 |
| [20:14] | Yeah. | 嗯 |
| [20:15] | Absolutely. | 当然 |
| [20:17] | One more person to do my chores for me. | 再来一个人帮我做家务 |
| [20:19] | Instead of a baby walker, | 我没买学步车 |
| [20:21] | I had Marty pushing a vacuum. | 我让马蒂推着吸尘器学走路 |
| [20:25] | You know, that’s a good idea. | 这是个好主意 |
| [20:27] | If we still had that robot baby, | 如果我们还有那个机器宝宝 |
| [20:28] | we could’ve had Marty make it into a Roomba. | 就可以让马蒂把它变成扫地机器人了 |
| [20:31] | You got rid of the doll? | 你把娃娃扔了 |
| [20:33] | Actually, no. You know, it’s really weird. | 其实也没有 真的很奇怪 |
| [20:35] | I came out here to look for it this morning and it was gone. | 我今天早上出来找它 它就不见了 |
| [20:37] | I wonder where it went. | 它去哪儿了呢 |
| [20:39] | Daddy! | 爸爸 |
| [20:40] | Get it off me! Get it off me! | 把它拿开 把它拿开 |
| [20:43] | Get it off! | 把它拿开 |
| [20:44] | Get it off me! | 把它拿开 |
| [20:49] | See? I told you having a second kid was great. | 看到了吗 我说生二胎好吧 |
| [20:52] | If I didn’t have Marty, I never would’ve seen that. | 如果没有马蒂 我永远也看不到这一幕 |