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东邻西舍(The Neighborhood)第4季第18集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计

Posted on 2024年7月13日 By jubentaici_movie_user 东邻西舍(The Neighborhood)第4季第18集台词本阅读、下载和单词统计无评论
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[00:06] TINA: All right–
[00:07] Bam.
[00:08] Queen of hearts? Oh, babe.
[00:11] Even when you’re not on my team, you help me win.
[00:13] Eh.
[00:15] Come on, Dave, slap that spade on her.
[00:16] Let’s go, baby.DAVE: All right.
[00:17] Coming right up.[phone ringing]
[00:21] I’m sorry, I got to take this.
[00:23] Hello, Terrence. Again.
[00:25] CALVIN: Hey, hurry up, man.
[00:26] This is Spades. This is not a game.
[00:28] [scoffs] He’s been on that phone all day.
[00:31] Yeah, it’s his new mediation clients.
[00:33] Two rich brothers who don’t get along.
[00:35] CALVIN: Uh, well,
[00:36] there’s gonna be a mediation
[00:38] between me and him, if he doesn’t come over here
[00:39] and help us win this book.
[00:42] Hey, sorry about that, guys. Okay, where were we?
[00:44] Oh, we were talking about your jackass clients.
[00:47] Well, as their mediator, I can’t say that.
[00:49] Yeah, well, I can.
[00:51] Look, lately, all of your clients have been–
[00:53] how can I put this nicely– total jackasses.
[00:59] You haven’t been happy at work in a long time.
[01:01] Well, maybe not, but if I can get these guys to agree
[01:04] on where to build their new factory,
[01:05] not only will it create, well, a lot of jobs,
[01:08] but happy Dave will return.
[01:10] Hmm.
[01:11] Happy Dave needs
[01:13] to return his ass back to this game.
[01:14] Mm, yeah.Let’s go, baby.
[01:16] So, what you got? What you got?Okay, all right. Let’s do this.
[01:18] We’re about to run a Baltimore on you two.
[01:20] [laughter]
[01:21] No.
[01:22] It’s called a Boston, Dave,
[01:24] but good trash talk, man.
[01:26] Come on, man. Hit them with it, baby.
[01:28] Well, let’s g… Sorry.[phone ringing]
[01:30] It’s the other brother. I’m so sorry. There you go.
[01:32] [shouts] Our book.
[01:34] No, no, no, baby, no, he was distracted.
[01:36] That’s a do-over. That’s a do-over.
[01:38] No, no do-overs, okay?
[01:40] This is Spades. This ain’t a game!
[01:41] Nope. [laughs]
[01:44] Know what? That’s it for me.
[01:47] I’m never being Dave’s partner on anything ever again.
[01:50] Okay, well, I got them off my back for now,
[01:52] but guess we’re playing golf tomorrow
[01:54] at the very exclusive Samora Country Club.
[01:56] I just have to find a fourth.
[01:59] Partner.
[02:02] ♪ Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood ♪
[02:04] ♪ Welcome to the hood.
[02:11] Man, look at this place.
[02:14] There are countries smaller than this course.
[02:17] I got to get in good with these guys
[02:19] so I can get invited back.
[02:20] Well, that’s fine, but just remember, this whole day
[02:24] is about getting the Wilton brothers to relax
[02:26] and agree where to build their new factory,
[02:28] so just be cool and leave everything to me.
[02:30] [laughs, stammers]
[02:31] You telling meto be cool?
[02:34] Dave, I’m always cool.
[02:37] Wow. Is that Sylvester Stallone?
[02:40] Yo. What’s up?
[02:43] Ooh, Calvin.
[02:46] Calvin. Here they come.
[02:47] What a splendid day.
[02:49] The air is positively salubrious.
[02:54] Uh, hey, uh, Terrence, this is my friend, Calvin.
[02:57] What’s up, Terrence?Hello.
[02:59] Hmm, firm shake there.
[03:00] You strike me as a Columbia man.
[03:03] Am I right?
[03:04] Uh, no. I’ve been to Cabo.
[03:07] Hey, don’t sleep on those cruises.
[03:08] They got everything.
[03:09] [laughs]
[03:11] This fellow’s a riot.
[03:12] Where is my brother?
[03:13] Up to his usual shenanigans, no doubt.
[03:15] ♪ It’s a whole lot of money in this mother ♪
[03:18] ♪ Barbia
[03:21] ♪ It’s a whole lot of money in this… ♪
[03:24] I’m here.
[03:25] And the party starts when? Now.
[03:28] [laughs]
[03:29] Jordan Wilton. What’s happening, fellas?
[03:33] Terrence.
[03:34] Once again, Jordan, your punctuality
[03:37] is not your strong suit.
[03:38] Oh, lighten up. I’m on RPT.
[03:42] That’s Rich People Time. I’m never late.
[03:44] Well, then, you were tardy for yesterday’s board meeting.
[03:48] Yeah, you’re right, man. “Bored.”
[03:51] Can you stop talking?
[03:54] I come bearing gifts.
[03:56] I have here 24 karat gold golf tees.
[04:03] [chuckles] 24 karat gold?
[04:05] I’m-a commemorate my retirement with this.
[04:08] All right, guys, we can talk business later.
[04:11] Calvin, you’re riding with me.
[04:13] You two loving brothers are together.
[04:15] Fine, but I don’t want to listen
[04:16] to loud music with all that bass.
[04:18] It’s demeaning. It shakes my insides.
[04:22] Well, maybe I should turn up those heated seats,
[04:24] to loosen up your sphincter so that stick will fall out.
[04:30] Wow.
[04:31] Dave, you got to deal with people like that all the time?
[04:34] Well, yeah, I mean, I fix people’s problems,
[04:36] so I get a lot of people with a lot of problems.
[04:39] Well, I’m glad I just fix cars.
[04:42] Cars don’t talk back.
[04:44] If all goes well, by the end of the day,
[04:46] they’ll be as close as you and me.
[04:47] TERRENCE: You unhand me before I sue you again!
[04:49] JORDAN: Family does not sue family.
[04:52] Wow, are you sure about that?
[04:54] Ah, you know, it’s nothing.
[04:56] I– Remember when we first met?
[04:58] You wanted to put your house up for sale.
[05:00] Look at us now.
[05:03] Dave, don’t make me call my Realtor. All right.
[05:08] Yeesh. Are all of these clothes for the birthday party
[05:12] that Grover’s going to?Yeah.
[05:13] He couldn’t decide what outfit he wanted to wear.
[05:15] Oh. Someone’s got a crush.
[05:18] [scoffs]
[05:19] What? No way.
[05:21] Well, has he been
[05:22] taking a lot of showers lately
[05:24] without you telling him?
[05:25] Well, sure. He has to wash off all that Axe body spray.
[05:28] Oh, my God!
[05:31] My baby has a crush on a girl.
[05:35] Oh. I have to ask him about her.
[05:37] Eh, uh, but be casual, because if you scare him away,
[05:40] he’s not gonna talk to you about it.
[05:42] Tina, I work with kids all day.
[05:44] I know how to deal with them. I’ll be smooth, girl.
[05:46] All right.
[05:47] Which shirt do you like?
[05:49] Do you have a crush on a girl?
[05:50] [stammers]
[05:52] Uh, yeah, real smooth.
[05:54] What? No.
[05:58] Okay, maybe I kind of like
[06:00] this girl named Molly Martin.
[06:01] She’s Andy’s cousin.
[06:03] Aw. Is she pretty?
[06:04] Mom, can we just focus on the shirts? Which one?
[06:07] Oh, uh, right. The blue one.
[06:10] Okay, great. The blue one’s definitely out.
[06:14] I’m gonna find Malcolm and Marty to get their opinion.
[06:18] We should look up this Molly Martin girl on Instagram.
[06:20] You know, you parents today got it easy.
[06:23] Back in the day, I would’ve had to drive
[06:25] around the neighborhood yelling,
[06:26] “Does anybody know Molly? Is she cute?”
[06:32] Oh…
[06:34] Yes.
[06:35] Only missed it by a couple of inches.
[06:38] Let’s celebrate.
[06:40] Calvin, I’m gonna treat you to a $10,000 cognac.
[06:44] Did he say cognac or Pontiac?
[06:47] Either way, I want it.
[06:49] All right, I’m going to negotiate with Terrence.
[06:53] You keep Jordan occupied.
[06:55] [chuckles] You ain’t got to threaten me with a good time.
[07:00] Hey, Terrence. Looks like, uh,
[07:02] this one’s gonna break a little bit left.
[07:05] Well, thank you for your good counsel.
[07:06] Here’s some more advice. You should talk to your brother.
[07:10] [grunts softly]You know, there’s something about coming
[07:12] from the same womb that just, well, it bonds you, you know?
[07:16] No.
[07:17] B-But I appreciate you trying to bring us together.
[07:20] Even though it does conjure up images of my mother’s anatomy.
[07:24] Well, y-you know what, Terrence,
[07:27] you know what’s so great about New York City?
[07:29] It’s an island. You can park your yacht anywhere.
[07:32] Mm. Hmm.
[07:34] I hear you, Dave. And I’ll think about it.
[07:37] All right.
[07:39] Now, how you like that?
[07:41] I couldn’t really tell. I might need another one.
[07:44] That’s fine with me.
[07:47] You know, I’ve never had this much money
[07:50] in my stomach before. [chuckles]
[07:53] And I once swallowed my wife’s wedding ring.
[07:54] Those were a rough couple of days.
[07:59] So, off the record,
[08:01] my brother, he’s like a nap with two legs, ain’t he?
[08:04] [chuckles]
[08:06] Yeah, the guy’s like an audiobook that you can’t pause.
[08:10] [laughs] I nodded off on holes three and four.
[08:14] You know what? You just earned yourself another shot.
[08:18] Ho! Let’s go.[phone chiming]
[08:20] Oh, hold on. Hmm.
[08:22] It’s my boy Elon.
[08:25] He wants to give me a new car.
[08:27] Do you want a Tesla?
[08:29] Hell yeah, I want a Tesla, man!
[08:32] Switch.
[08:34] Your turn to putt with Terrence.N-No, Dave,
[08:35] we’re just talking about my new Tesla that I…
[08:37] Switch! I said switch!Okay. Dave.
[08:39] You don’t have to get so loud. I’m switching.
[08:44] Aha.
[08:45] I see you want to take part in this nectar?
[08:47] Oh, uh, no, thank you.
[08:48] Uh, I think there’s a time and place
[08:50] for everything, and you know what?
[08:51] There is a good time and place to think about
[08:54] what’s best for your company.
[08:56] Now, Jordan,
[08:58] I know you like to do things big.
[09:00] But in Nashville, you could do ’em even bigger.
[09:03] You know what that is?
[09:04] Huge.
[09:07] You know what?
[09:08] Between the cognac, my head and your words,
[09:11] you’re starting to make sense.
[09:15] Ah. Nah, it’s the cognac.
[09:18] [chuckles]
[09:19] So, your professional advice
[09:22] is that I should open up more auto shops?
[09:24] No, no, no, not you.
[09:26] You should franchise them.
[09:27] You make the little guy make you money. Hmm?
[09:30] [chuckles]
[09:31] This is some good stuff, man. I need to write this down.
[09:34] Oh, don’t worry about it, don’t worry about it.
[09:35] We’ll-we’ll discuss it all next weekend right here.
[09:38] [mouths] [chuckles]
[09:40] You know, I’ll even share my secret
[09:41] on how I garnered my first billion.
[09:44] Your first billion?[laughs]
[09:46] I need to get me some little guys.
[09:48] [both laugh]
[09:49] Calvin, we’re cut from the same cloth.
[09:51] Smart businessmen. Not like my brother over there
[09:53] who flushes money down the toilet.
[09:55] Seriously, he thinks it’s good for the plumbing.
[09:58] Yeah, he does spend money like a third world dictator, right?
[10:02] But without the fun little hat.
[10:08] All right, little man. Let’s see the outfit.
[10:12] [laughs]:Oh…
[10:15] Okay.
[10:17] Hey, see, this is the one. You look good, man.
[10:20] I’m trying to look cool, like J-Hope from BTS.
[10:24] Molly loves him, but J-Hope’s hair is straighter than mine,
[10:27] so I thought I could use this.
[10:31] Mama’s hair perm?
[10:32] Yeah, uh… [clears throat]
[10:34] Grover, you can’t use this.
[10:36] Why?
[10:38] It says my hair will be flat and silky.
[10:39] It’s exactly what I want.
[10:42] Uh, little boy, um…
[10:46] hair straighteners have strong chemicals in them.
[10:49] You can’t mess around with this stuff.
[10:50] Okay. I’ll put it back.
[10:52] [laughs] Man.
[10:55] You know, today he’s trying to look like J-Hope,
[10:57] and tomorrow it’s Michael B. Jordan.
[10:59] Ah. Well, I mean, let’s be real.
[11:01] We are all trying to look like Michael B. Jordan.
[11:03] Yeah.
[11:08] [laughter]CALVIN: Not bad. Not-not bad.
[11:10] Okay, all right, my turn. I got one.
[11:13] Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants?
[11:15] Why?
[11:16] In case he got a hole in one.
[11:19] [laughter]I know.
[11:21] I know it’s corny, but it’s good.
[11:23] See that? Laughter truly is the best medicine.
[11:25] L-Look at this.
[11:26] Two titans of industry
[11:27] finding common ground.
[11:29] CALVIN: Oh.
[11:30] To common ground.Yeah.
[11:31] To common ground.
[11:32] CALVIN: Hey.TERRENCE: You know, Jordan,
[11:33] I’m ready to work this out.
[11:35] If you could just refrain from– how did you put it, Calvin?
[11:37] Spending money
[11:39] like a third world dictator
[11:40] without the fun hats.
[11:43] You said that?
[11:44] [stammers]
[11:45] I got plenty of fun hats.
[11:46] CALVIN: Look,
[11:48] I-I said it, but remember, tone is everything.
[11:52] W-Well, maybe I misunderstand your tone
[11:55] when you said that my brother was so boring
[11:57] that you fell asleep on holes three and four.
[12:01] I beg your pardon?
[12:03] You know, once again, tone, man.
[12:06] You know? Tone.
[12:08] Guys, guys, we were doing so well.
[12:10] Let’s be escalators and keep moving up.
[12:13] Well, this escalator’s going down.
[12:15] You know what?
[12:17] I think Calvin’s playing us.
[12:18] CALVIN: Jordan, come on, man,
[12:20] I was just messing around…
[12:21] I’m out!
[12:26] No Tesla for you.
[12:30] You know, it’s people like you who make people like us
[12:32] stay away from people like you.
[12:39] [groans]
[12:40] Well, that took a turn.
[12:42] No kidding. I just lost a Tesla.
[12:53] Look, Dave.
[12:55] I know getting these two brothers together was important.
[12:58] Mm-hmm.I-I hope I didn’t mess that up for you.
[13:01] But those guys were ticked off.
[13:06] Yes.
[13:07] But the good news is,
[13:09] they’re not ticked off at each other anymore.
[13:11] Now they’re mad at somebody else.
[13:14] [chuckles] What did you do, Dave?
[13:20] No. No, no.
[13:21] Uh, not me, you.
[13:26] Now I can use what’s called strategic leverage.
[13:29] A common enemy always brings people together.
[13:32] Now we just need to get them to focus their anger at you.
[13:37] I don’t know, that sounds dangerous.
[13:41] But, hey, that’s okay.
[13:43] Because if one of them fools put their hands on me,
[13:46] their company’s going to be Wilton, Wilton and Calvin.
[13:50] You can believe that.
[13:55] Yes. I found Molly’s Instagram page.
[13:58] Ooh.[gasps]
[14:00] Oh, she went to STEM camp.
[14:02] So she’s smart. Mm-hmm.
[14:04] Wait a minute. This girl is 13?
[14:08] Okay. Well, Grover’s found himself a cougar.
[14:11] No… Oh.
[14:13] Tina, that is not funny. She’s way too mature for Grover.
[14:17] Oh, please, they’re just a year apart.
[14:19] U-Uh, a year is a lifetime at that age.
[14:22] Girls are way more advanced.
[14:24] In puberty years, she’s a 33-year-old divorcée,
[14:27] newly single and ready to mingle.
[14:30] Uh, Mom. I think I did something wrong.
[14:32] My head’s itching and tingling.
[14:34] What? What did you put in your hair?
[14:35] I took Miss Tina’s straightener to flatten my hair.
[14:38] [gasps]Boy, you put my perm
[14:40] in your hair?
[14:42] You didn’t see that whole Black lady on the box?
[14:45] [shouts] Now it’s burning! Help!Oh, no. What do we do? What do we do?
[14:47] Okay, take him over to the sink. We got wash it out.Okay, okay, okay.
[14:50] Okay. O-Okay. Uh, don’t worry, baby.All right, bring it over, okay.
[14:52] Okay?Here, I’ll turn it on. Okay.
[14:53] Don’t worry, baby, it’s gonna be fine.It’s gonna be okay.
[14:55] It will be fine, right, Tina?
[14:57] Uh, eventually.
[15:04] Man, I can’t believe the valet lost all of our car keys.
[15:11] The incompetent plebs.
[15:13] Siri, order me a helicopter to pick me up in 15 minutes.
[15:20] Does Two-Face have to be here?
[15:23] More like the Joker.
[15:25] You know the one who did the weird dance on the stairs.
[15:27] Remember him?[laughs]
[15:29] Oh, that is so funny.
[15:31] You know what’s not funny?
[15:33] When your ass is broke in two years,
[15:35] and the closest you’ll get to a Tesla
[15:36] is when you’re washing one.
[15:41] Easy there, bro.
[15:42] He’s still family, and he has an emergency fund.
[15:45] I-I forgot to tell you, uh,
[15:47] I spent that.What?
[15:49] Yeah, yeah, uh, Calvin, ease up.
[15:52] No, no, no, I’m keeping it real.
[15:54] And you, Mr. I Make Billions Off the Little Guy,
[15:59] how do you sleep at night?
[16:00] Hanging upside down?
[16:04] Wait a minute, now, you’re talking to my brother.
[16:06] You don’t want any of this smoke.
[16:09] [laughs] Smoke?
[16:10] Man, I got cigars bigger than you.
[16:12] [stammers]
[16:14] You keep up with this defamation, you vulgarian,
[16:16] I’ll tie you up in court so long,
[16:18] your grandchildren will need lawyers.
[16:21] Way to go, T.
[16:22] What?
[16:26] Now, look at that. You guys cansee eye to eye.
[16:30] Now, why not come to an agreement
[16:31] on where the new factory should be built?
[16:33] JORDAN: No. No.
[16:34] Great, still on the same page.
[16:36] Now, Jordan, why are you so stuck on New York?
[16:40] The nightlife, baby.
[16:42] Okay, and, Terrence, what do you love about Nashville?
[16:46] The tax breaks, obviously.
[16:48] Okay, well, is there any place that you guys
[16:50] could have both the nightlife and the tax break?
[16:55] Vegas.Vegas.
[16:56] I said it first.
[16:57] But I thought it first.
[16:58] It doesn’t matter. You guys came to an agreement.
[17:01] And in the state of California, especially on a golf course,
[17:04] verbal agreements are binding.
[17:05] Don’t look it up.
[17:07] You see what happens
[17:09] when you guys compromise?
[17:10] Too soon.
[17:13] Don’t ruin this, Calvin.
[17:17] Did you really spend your emergency fund?
[17:18] Uh, way gone. And some of yours, too.
[17:22] Well,
[17:24] thanks for your help, Calvin.Yeah.
[17:25] And I’m sorry that they were so rude.
[17:27] Hey, not a problem.
[17:30] I just found out that this gold tee
[17:33] is worth about eight grand, man.What?
[17:36] Give me that. I got to tip my pilot.
[17:40] Don’t worry, Calvin. I’ll split mine with you.
[17:42] Ah.
[17:44] This is going back in the emergency fund.
[17:49] Excuse me, miss.
[17:51] Is their tab still open?
[17:54] We’ll take four lobsters to go.
[17:56] Okay? Thank you.
[17:58] Oh, and, uh, don’t skimp on the butter.
[18:03] Ugh, I needed this.
[18:05] I can’t believe the miracle you pulled off on Grover’s hair
[18:08] with just a pair of scissors and a Sharpie.
[18:10] Ooh. Well, I had to fill in that bald spot.
[18:13] Mm. I hope he didn’t sweat.
[18:14] [both laugh]
[18:18] It hurt my feelings a bit that Grover didn’t want me
[18:20] to pick him up from the party.
[18:22] I can’t believe I won’t be the most important woman
[18:24] in his life soon.
[18:26] Yeah, he’s growing up, but trust me, nobody can replace Mama,
[18:30] as long as you keep that fridge stocked.
[18:32] [laughs]GROVER: Mom.
[18:33] In here, honey.
[18:35] Yeah– I’ll come to you.Ah…
[18:37] Don’t be so desperate.
[18:40] Hey. How was the party?
[18:42] Fun.
[18:43] Everybody liked my new look.
[18:44] Including Krista.
[18:46] What, what happened to Molly?
[18:49] Oh, yeah, I’m still talking to her, too.
[18:51] [laughs]: Oh!
[18:53] Player.
[18:55] There is nothing good to eat in here.
[18:58] Uh– Come on, little man. Let’s go get some real food.
[19:04] Let’s go to my mama’s house.[laughs]
[19:06] You see what he said? My house.
[19:09] See, trust me, as long as you keep a steady supply
[19:11] of deli meats and spray cheese in your fridge,
[19:14] he’ll be yours forever.
[19:16] [laughs]
[19:22] You were pretty quiet on the ride home.
[19:25] Even when “Livin’ on a Prayer” came on.
[19:29] You know, you should be proud.
[19:31] You helped create a lot of jobs today.
[19:33] Yeah, I know.
[19:36] And I know that that’s a good thing, but, man… [exhales]
[19:38] …the Wiltons were exhausting.
[19:40] And they just asked me to be their in-house mediator,
[19:44] and they’re offering me a ton of money.
[19:47] That’s great news. Why don’t you tell your face?
[19:52] Well, because it’s my heart
[19:54] that doesn’t think that it’s great.
[19:55] Then buy a new heart.
[19:58] Okay, for real, man. What’s going on?
[20:02] Look, all my clients are these rich people that I just…
[20:05] I can’t relate to.
[20:07] Or, as Gemma calls them, “jackasses.”
[20:12] You know, lately I’ve been volunteering at the V.A.,
[20:14] and I just wish that working with people like the Wiltons
[20:18] was as fulfilling as working with the veterans.
[20:21] Well, if you enjoy it so much,
[20:23] why don’t you try to get a job at the V.A.?
[20:27] You know, actually, they offered me a job.
[20:29] But I don’t know, the money’s not as good,
[20:31] and obviously I have to think about my family.
[20:33] Yeah, man, but you being happy is good for you,
[20:37] which is good for your family.
[20:40] I mean, the way I see it, if you find a job you love,
[20:42] you never have to work a day in your life.
[20:48] Wow, Calvin. That’s pretty good.
[20:51] You just make that up?
[20:53] No. No, it’s right here on the back of this lobster bag.
[21:00] Captioning sponsored by CBS
[21:08] Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
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东邻西舍(The Neighborhood)剧集台词目录:
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