| 时间 | 英文 | 中文 |
|---|---|---|
| [00:00] | ♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da ba-da-ba-da-ba ♪ | |
| [00:03] | ♪ Da, da, da-ba-da, da, da Let’s go! ♪ | |
| [00:04] | ♪ We’ll be there ♪ | |
| [00:06] | ♪ A wink and a smile and a great, old time ♪ | |
| [00:09] | ♪ Yeah, we’ll be there ♪ | |
| [00:11] | ♪ Wherever we are, there’s fun to be found ♪ | |
| [00:13] | ♪ We’ll be there when you turn that corner ♪ | |
| [00:15] | ♪ We’ll jump out the bush ♪ | |
| [00:16] | ♪ With a big bear hug and a smile ♪ | |
| [00:19] | ♪ We’ll be there ♪ | |
| [00:26] | Live from the studio headquarters in Northern California… | |
| [00:29] | it’s “The Nom Nom Show!” | |
| [00:31] | Tonight’s guests … | |
| [00:32] | Viral superstars Daredevil Dog… | |
| [00:35] | …Shakespeare Baby. | |
| [00:37] | And a performance by the Internet sensation, | |
| [00:40] | Amazing Ape! | |
| [00:42] | With music by Hedgehog and the Nom Nom Jam Band! | |
| [00:46] | And here’s your host, Nom Nom! | |
| [00:52] | Hey! Mwah! Mwah! | |
| [00:56] | Uh-huh! | |
| [01:03] | Hey! | |
| [01:04] | I love you Nom Nom! | |
| [01:06] | I love you too, grown adult! | |
| [01:08] | Thank you, thank you. | |
| [01:09] | I’m Nom Nom, and welcome to my first-ever TV special, | |
| [01:13] | where the only stars brighter than here… are in space! | |
| [01:20] | Do something cute! | |
| [01:23] | Well, tonight, we’ve got a great show! | |
| [01:26] | So don’t change that channel, we’ll be right back! | |
| [01:33] | It was all so great, Mr. Nom Nom. | |
| [01:34] | It’s gonna be amazing! | |
| [01:36] | Keep this up, and we’re definitely getting a primetime show. | |
| [01:39] | You’ll be the king of the Internet and TV! | |
| [01:41] | Really great job, sir. | |
| [01:42] | I’m pretty sure the executive loved it, too! | |
| [01:44] | I see a smile! | |
| [01:46] | Sir, I know if this special fails, people will laugh at you, | |
| [01:49] | and your career will go down the drain. | |
| [01:50] | But regardless, I am still so proud of you. | |
| [01:52] | Okay, okay, okay! | |
| [01:54] | Just give me some space! Shoo, shoo! | |
| [01:55] | Give me a moment! | |
| [01:56] | Where’s my water? Interns, where’s my water?! | |
| [02:00] | Uh, coming, Nom Nom! | |
| [02:05] | Your eucalyptus water, Mr. Nom Nom, sir. | |
| [02:07] | Thanks again for this opportunity, man. | |
| [02:09] | Yeah, Grizz says you’re likeable now. | |
| [02:11] | Ice Bear is hoping for redemptive arc. | |
| [02:14] | Ugh, what am I even paying you for? | |
| [02:16] | – The internship’s unpaid. – We only get college credit. | |
| [02:19] | Right. I get free non-union labor. | |
| [02:21] | You get industry experience. I lost out on this deal. | |
| [02:25] | Hey, Nom Nom, can I get you a refreshing strawberry water? | |
| [02:27] | – It’ll make you feel better. – Grizz! He only drinks eucalyptus water. | |
| [02:30] | Ice Bear doesn’t like water. Too wet. | |
| [02:32] | Enough! I need the show to go well. | |
| [02:34] | Stop annoying me and bring me some food. | |
| [02:36] | – Okey-dokey. | – Okey-dokey. |
| [02:38] | And be fast! Go! | |
| [02:40] | Be gone! | |
| [02:42] | – Um, sir, we have a problem. – What do you mean, “problem”? | |
| [02:45] | Daredevil Dog can’t make it. He, uh, called in injured. | |
| [02:48] | Injured? How bad is it? | |
| [02:55] | – What?! – We can fix this. | |
| [02:56] | – What do you mean?! – We just need a replacement! | |
| [02:59] | How are we gonna just grab some nobody to replace him | |
| [03:01] | in less than two minutes? | |
| [03:02] | – Ugh! – Hey, Nom Nom! | |
| [03:03] | We found you some food! | |
| [03:05] | Not sure what it was doing in the backroom? | |
| [03:06] | Hey! Where’d the cake for the after party go? | |
| [03:09] | Let us know if there’s anything else you want us to do! | |
| [03:11] | Yep, we’re free to do whatever you need! | |
| [03:15] | Hey, I got an idea. | |
| [03:22] | Welcome back! So, some bad news, folks. | |
| [03:24] | Daredevil Dog was unable to make it in tonight. | |
| [03:26] | Oh, what? | |
| [03:28] | Well, it’s gonna be okay, | |
| [03:30] | ’cause we’ve got the next best thing! | |
| [03:32] | Introducing Daredevil Bear! | |
| [03:35] | Daredevil Bear is going to go down the ramp, | |
| [03:37] | over the spikes, threw a flaming hoop, | |
| [03:40] | a second hoop, | |
| [03:41] | more flaming hoops, | |
| [03:43] | a spider, over the ramp, | |
| [03:46] | through the daggers, over the piranha tank, | |
| [03:49] | and land safely over on the other side. | |
| [03:52] | Ooh! | |
| [03:54] | He signed a waiver, right? | |
| [03:56] | All righty! Are you ready?! | |
| [03:59] | Um, Nom Nom, this doesn’t look like a good idea. | |
| [04:01] | What are you talking about? | |
| [04:03] | It’s just that it looks a little dangerous. | |
| [04:06] | Looks like he needs some motivation! | |
| [04:08] | Let’s count down! 3, 2, 1! | |
| [04:23] | Ow, ow, ow, ow, just stop tugging at it. | |
| [04:25] | Wow, oh, it’s really got you, man. | |
| [04:29] | Ow, that hurt, you oaf! | |
| [04:30] | So sorry, Nom Nom, but everything’s fine now! | |
| [04:32] | Good as new! | |
| [04:33] | Ah, Nom Nom! It’s urgent! | |
| [04:35] | Oh, good, my agent’s here to fix everything. | |
| [04:37] | Well, actually, sir, Shakespeare Baby can’t make it either. | |
| [04:40] | He got into a fight with his twin, Opera Baby. | |
| [04:45] | He lost his voice in a subsequent yelling match. | |
| [04:46] | It was super cute and went viral, | |
| [04:48] | – but not good for us. – What?! | |
| [04:50] | Why is this happening?! | |
| [04:52] | Well, you’re on in five! | |
| [04:53] | Okay, okay, we’ll just have to work with it. | |
| [04:55] | You! You’re up! | |
| [04:56] | You got this, bro! | |
| [04:58] | You’re the best drama queen I know. | |
| [05:01] | What? What is it? | |
| [05:05] | But, soft, what light through yonder window breaks? | |
| [05:07] | It is the East, and Juliet is the sun. | |
| [05:11] | Arise, fair sun! | |
| [05:17] | – Arise, Fair sun! – Uh, whoa. Oh, geez. | |
| [05:22] | Where … Wherefore art thou, uh, art thou? | |
| [05:26] | Oh my. | |
| [05:27] | Your lines, Juliet! Stick to your lines! | |
| [05:29] | I’m sorry, but these flowers! I think I’m allerg… | |
| [05:37] | Come on! Pull me up, pull me up! | |
| [05:39] | That thou, her maid, art far more fair than she. | |
| [05:43] | Be not her maid, since she is envious. | |
| [05:46] | – Since she is envious. – Well, I can’t. | |
| [05:50] | I’m really allergic to the … | |
| [05:51] | Come on, just take the flowers already. | |
| [06:05] | You’re ruining the act! | |
| [06:07] | Get it together, you … | |
| [06:12] | Oh, gosh, Nom Nom, I’m so, so … | |
| [06:17] | Great job, guys. Sounds like you got the crowd going | |
| [06:19] | Nom Nom, I’m so sorry for that. | |
| [06:21] | That’s it! You embarrassed me in front of the whole crowd! | |
| [06:23] | You’re fired! Oh wait. You’re all fired! | |
| [06:26] | Sir! Bad news, sir! | |
| [06:28] | I just got off the phone and… | |
| [06:29] | Don’t tell me. The ape isn’t gonna make it. | |
| [06:31] | No. He isn’t real! | |
| [06:32] | Turns out he’s just a fake Internet meme. | |
| [06:37] | – We’ve been bamboozled, sir. – Say no more. | |
| [06:40] | So, uh, should we go? | |
| [06:48] | Now, ladies and gentlemen, | |
| [06:50] | welcome to our last and final act. | |
| [06:52] | Featuring my assistant, | |
| [06:53] | the amazing, last minute guest star … | |
| [06:57] | Magic Bear! | |
| [07:01] | Ooh! | |
| [07:02] | I will be performing the ultimate escape from this box, | |
| [07:05] | while being completely submerged. Observe! | |
| [07:08] | With a heavily fortified 200-pound door, | |
| [07:10] | along with two inches of the strongest glass. | |
| [07:13] | All conditions impossible for escape. Especially with… | |
| [07:18] | handcuffs! | |
| [07:22] | Magic Bear. Handcuffs! | |
| [07:29] | All right, and there you have it folks. | |
| [07:30] | Behold! I’m now clearly restrained. | |
| [07:33] | I will have just seconds to escape. | |
| [07:36] | Don’t forget to leave the master key with me. | |
| [07:46] | ♪ This is the moment ♪ | |
| [07:54] | ♪ This is the moment ♪ | |
| [08:04] | Nom Nom’s in trouble! | |
| [08:06] | We’re coming, Nom Nom! We’re coming! | |
| [08:15] | No worries, Nom Nom. | |
| [08:17] | We’ll get you… out of there! | |
| [08:34] | Oh, my gosh, Nom Nom. Are you okay? Speak! | |
| [08:45] | Put me through to the network, please. | |
| [08:46] | Wait, wait, wait! Wait, I can fix this! | |
| [09:05] | Ahh, he’s coming this way! | |
| [09:07] | It’s over and done! | |
| [09:09] | This was gonna be my own show! | |
| [09:12] | My only shot! My chance to top The Corgis, | |
| [09:14] | Andy Bangs, everybody! My career is over! | |
| [09:17] | – Wait, stop Nom Nom! – Leave me alone! | |
| [09:19] | But Nom Nom! Just listen! | |
| [09:20] | The audience is calling for you. | |
| [09:22] | – Huh? – Nom Nom! Nom Nom! | |
| [09:24] | What? | |
| [09:36] | That’s right, guys! It’s me! | |
| [09:37] | Mwah, mwah! | |
| [09:39] | Whoo! | |
| [09:42] | – You did it, Nom Nom! – Whoo-hoo! | |
| [09:44] | – Whoo! – I love you, Nom Nom! | |
| [09:47] | Love you too, so and so! | |
| [09:50] | Oh, man, that felt amazing! I can’t believe it! | |
| [09:52] | Ah! Nom Nom, you see. You’re such a success! | |
| [09:55] | Oh, no, no, no, let’s keep this professional. | |
| [09:57] | Oh, right, of course, Mr. Nom Nom, sir. | |
| [09:58] | Congratulations, Nom Nom! | |
| [10:00] | Ha! See? Everything turned out okay! | |
| [10:02] | The crowd just loves you, man! You’re huge! | |
| [10:04] | Nom Nom, darling. | |
| [10:06] | I spoke to my network’s board, and after this response… | |
| [10:10] | we’d like to extend you for a full season! | |
| [10:12] | What? Really? | |
| [10:13] | The performances were all such a hit with the crowd, | |
| [10:16] | and we want to bring on the bears as regular co-hosts! | |
| [10:21] | We get to be in the show too?! | |
| [10:23] | Wait, no, no, no, no. Why are they in on the deal? | |
| [10:26] | They’re just a bunch of interns! | |
| [10:27] | Ice Bear will steal the show. As usual. | |
| [10:29] | The audience loved the chemistry you guys had. | |
| [10:32] | To us, there’s no “Nom Nom Show” without the Bears. | |
| [10:34] | – So, what do you say, Nom Nom? – Do it, sir! Take the deal! | |
| [10:40] | No, no, you know what? No. | |
| [10:42] | No bears. This is supposed to be my show. | |
| [10:44] | Mine … “The Nom Nom Show.” | |
| [10:46] | It’s just me, or I’m out! | |
| [10:48] | And good luck finding another cute Internet star | |
| [10:49] | that can carry this show! I’m all you got! | |
| [10:51] | Live from the studio headquarters in Northern California, | |
| [10:54] | it’s “The Hedgehog Show”! |